Stressful Schedule : In The Zone.

It’s been raining lately here in KL; especially masa nak balik kerja. Since I’m riding motorcycle, I’ve been cultivating the habit of ’stay-back’ kat Menara Affin; to avoid the heavy rain and ‘the impossible-but-who-knows-right?’ kesesakan lalu lintas and of course killing time with internet free.. For the past 3 days (and more to come, I’m sure), I’ve been busy and work loads getting tonnes and tonnes!

To begin, last Monday all the Relationship Managers (RMs) were invited to the Crowne Plaza Hotel (dekat je) for a luncheon with solicitors who have been liasing with us. It was a nice atmosphere; get to know the solicitors (and melantak! ahaks); Japanese cuisine! ( But I’m not into those raw thingies!). I’ve also been working my a## off on the Credit Application Memorandum amendment write-up; there were a lot of re-types, re-printings, re-scrutinizing the physical files, re-calculating the collateral/securities values, exposures the bank, etc! Although it’s a normal learning process but i have to admit that one time I felt stupid! (huhuh). My mentors have been great and very patient towards me although they have to repeat themselves to me for like umpteenth time. I appreciate them for that. And of course, being me; I lamented to few people just for the sake of siphon out the ketidakgembiraan… To Azmir,Zhafry,Khirwan, and my faithful ex-roomate, Sharizul Fazli a.k.a. Lie. Their soothing advices were somewhat alleviating.

And today, went to site visit to Bandar Manjalara at Kepong with Zaza. It was a good hands-on experience discussing face-to-face with contractor customers; I was feeling exhausted though; after this banyak paperworks nak dibuat; ni curi-curi menulis la ni. I’m in the stressful zone……well, sorta!

Virginity & Dignity : Not A Bedtime Blog. Best Solution.

There’s No Kindness In Your Eyes. The Way You Look At Me Is Just Not Right.

Jukebox Mood : "Stranger" By Hilary Duff

After much thought, I’ve decided to delete the previous entry about virginity & dignity. As much as it’s all about what I feel inside, I have to agree that some people might have negative impression towards the bluntness of that transcription. I guess this is the best way. I don’t wanna hurt anyone’s feeling.

Sometimes, I tend to forget that although my blog is exclusive for Friendster, it is still accesible for outsiders; ditambah pula the URL linkages by Muzem and my sister. Strangers who I barely know certainly read my blog. I just wrote what I believe and I did not pinpointing to anyone whowhatsoever. People simply love to read controversy and I guess it’s better for me not to retain the entry. I don’t like to be googled as a ‘bedtime story’ blog. This is my space and it’s all about my salvatory valve.Enough said.

I Can Tell What’s Goin On This Time.

Captivated By Gothic “Sweeney Todd”. Rumor On Angie.

I’ve just watched the gothic musical "Sweeney Todd : The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street". OH MY GOD! I LOVE IT! The opening overture, the settings, the potrayal of characters by Depp and Bonham Carter; as well as Sacha a.k.a. Borat are just phenomenal! I can’t say enough about it coz opinions might differ. All I can say, those people who are into ‘dark stuffs’ are gonna love this! Like what Azmir said.."Sweet" (ahaks!).  Rumors has it that Angie is pregnant with Pitt’s twins. I dunno about it till Norzat posted a snippet from Justjared.com (yeah, she’s a E!News aspire reporter!haha). Personally, I dunt give a damn about it coz it’s all tabloid thingies. When Angie officially announces if tehre’s any upcoming baby bumps; then that’s a big deal-o. Till then,live up to her motto = Quod Me Nutruit Me Destruit. What Nourishes Also Destroy Me.

Appreciating Every Souls Around the Childlike : “You Give Me Love”. =)

Sometimes when I ponder, I guess I’ve been quite lucky in my life (so far!). I have family and friends who have been very patient towards my nondescripted childish tantrum-throwings. I can be a very pain-in-the a$$ sometimes (I know!) but it’s touching thing to know these people always make themselves available to accomodate your "emotional upheavel".

I just wanna say that I appreciate all of them and most of all yang menghargai diri kita. It’s nice of you to have something soothing to alleviate my kebimbangan on every single things (especially trivial ones!). This old song of Faith Hill entitled "You Give Me Love" rightly illustrating that. Thanks also to everyone!

"You Give Me Love" by Faith Hill

You turn around
Then you ask me behind tears of doubt
Just what do I see in you
Please don’t cry
I know sometimes it seems
we barely get by
But you don’t see how much you do
To get me through

When the world is cold                              

And I need a friend to hold
You give me love… you give me love
And when my hope is gone
And I feel I can’t go on
You pick me up
You give me love… you give me love

I apologize
If I never told you what you are in my eyes
Oh baby, let me tell you now
Every day
Looks sweeter knowing you’ll be there in every way
Now how can you say that’s not enough

Everything my heart desires
Morning sun and midnight fires
Someone there to share my dreams
With you I have everything

* UPDATES NOTIFICATION *

Yes! finally i’ve found this song! Been googling for like ages and finally came across this Russian website which I dont understand a word! All I saw was "Faith Hill You Give Me Love.mp3" Hhahaa. this song is truly close to my heart and if you wanna hear it just go to my friendster page. I appreciate you, The Clown, very much…

A Quick Jot From Assistant Relationship Manager Childlike! Review On Stephen King’s “Salem’s Lot”.

This week has been a whole new experience! Being part of the Islamic Banking proves to be an exciting one (so far la!) HHehe…My mentor Zura has been very cooperative, friendly and banyak menunjuk ajar me; it’s been nice to be under someone who is more or less like me; laugh and all. She doesn’t push me and consider my limit; but of course as professionals, we have to know what’s work and what’s fun.Regardless the good atmosphere, what has to be executed must remain that way; WORK IS WORK!

Last Monday,we went to see a representative at Putrajaya of Ministry of Education. Er, I shall not comment on that but I now understand how the process flows and the hassles of "protocols" and certain "work ethics" we have to bear in mind! Due to some problematic thingies which I can never reveal, a discussion with the customer came about on Wednesday. This is where you can witness the dirt and the sneaky part of business. Interesting  though; my mentor dragged me along;with my superior mentor Kak Zaza and the ‘bouncer’ (hehe) Abg Ali. And there’s also the talk of EXIM Bank (i know! get excite don every lil things, rite?!hahha)

So far, everything has been OK. Zura has yet to assign me on any CAM (credit approval memorandum) write-ups; but I did some SIBs-to-physical comparison for BNM checking and also extract some info from a company profile. Actually, now I’m using Cik/Abg Hafiz’s laptop in the office (hehe)..Well, he gave me the password though. So, hehhee…thanks. He reminds me of Lie though; very lawak and all. It’s good to keep us all the RMs motivated; especially Zura’s portfolio (and soon-to-be mine) yang memeningkan!~ Oh,nanti aybe pergi Lake Club kat Tmn Tasik Perdana about some solicitor thingies. I dunno.maybe. Ok, assalamualaikum! =)

Notification Updates :

Hhehe…tak jadi went to Lake Club @ Taman Tasik Perdana. Zura was like pursuading me to go coz it was a good chance to get-to-know with the solicitors who have been liasing with the bank; and I myself was quite excited with the idea; but then Kat (not Kat-Kathleen; Kat as in Khadijah) said her car dah full; Abg Ali’s plak boleh tapi after that he nak balik rumah terus; I park my motorcycle (yes, I have been going to work with MOTORCYCLE from Bangi to Raja Chulan nowadays! ahaks!) ; so if I were to go I have to go on my own! Dha le tak tau jalan nak gi sana so tak jadi pergi (Abg Ali, Zura and Dzul found this very funny! Hhaha, I know!).

Today pergi buat medical check-up yg tak wat last week at Menara The Weld (tepi my bank jer!) . Luckily bumped into Heidi yang buat medical checkup gak. So, just tumpang her to Menara PKNS Jalan Raja Laut for X-Ray plak; sesat plak sebab Heidi’s driving collided with Ken’s (Heidi’s BF) instruction! Sempatlah round sampai ke Lake Club Lake Garden a.k.a Taman Tasik Perdana yg supposedly pegi semalam tuh ehhe..

Waiting for X-rays :Man, that’s like AGES!!! We’ve been waiting for like ZILLIONTH years (OK, I’m exaggerating ,of course); last-last tak amik juga the X-ray coz the doctor was not around; we asked the attendants to revert the documents and X-rays to ke Menara Weld and next week Monday baru kami amik situ jer la. Anyway, thanks Heidi for the lift (free kan? ahaks!).This week everyone seems busy; Zhafry balik Penang; Kat doin her PTD-travelling; colleagues mostly busy with tasks yang dah mula dapat dah..The life as Assistant Relationship Manager (ARM) has begun~ XoXo =)

Oh, I’ve also finished reading the Stephen King’s novel "Salem’s Lot" yang i bought before Raya Aildilfitri (I know! ages ago!). The verdict: DISSAPOINTING! Stephen King fails to deliver his magical touch in this novel. It’s just bunches of bloodsuckings, minor sexual innuendoes, some vampire killings and hammmering heads with metal without any exciting plot! It’s certainly a mediocre in comparison to other King’s materpieces like "The Dark Half", "IT" or even "The Shining". Go through several pages you already get the gist of the novel : a secluded place infested by unquenchable bloodthirsty vampires. No-brainer (I know!)..

 

I Miss Maddox a.k.a. Rifqi.

Maal Hijrah! Islamic Corporate Banker (SME, Contract Financing). Childlike Loves Clown. Deanna’s SURPRISE Birthday Bash! Bugging The “Camera-Shy”.

"Wherever You Go I Always Know. You Make Me Smile Even Just For A While."

Jukebox Mood : "Bubbly" By Colbie Cailat

Yeah, I know! "Hate That I Love" has come back again in the atmosphere=). Salam Maal Hijrah to everyone! May the new year brings prosperity to us all =). For the past 4 days, i’ve been having emotional fluctuation sampai tak leh tido (and of course that means i lament to few people, kan? Azmir, Kareena, Fathia..hehee) : penyebabnya ialah decision for placement my batch H2W. Generally, all of us are like so nervous (and me yang terlebih2x la sampai cold feet tu kan? *wink*); In the end, saya ditempatkan di Islamic Corporate Banking; but i also handles SME cases. Frankly, I dunno whther to celebrate happy atau mourning sedih; i’m only expect myself to perform. Anyway, memang sedih sebab lepas ni our batch memang jarang berkesempatan nak hangout sesama dalam kelas, joking around; except maybe lunch hour. Hhahaa, it’s not like i aint gonna see them again, tapi saya kan melodramatik *huhuhu*.

Called Zhafry to channel out my nervous tuh (yeah, I guess I will start bugging him from now on); my immediate mentor happened to be Zura (whois like Nik’s Girlfriend! ahhh!!hahaha); and my mentor is kak Zaza, a seemingly bubbly lady but work-has-to-be-done-accordingly attitude. But so far, she’s nice and yeah, i have to say i’m quite nervous sebab skop kerja yg Zura handles mostly to ‘clean’ all the bad accounts yang ada potential nak jadi NPL (non-performing loans), Watchlists and Early Alerts!!!It will be stressful, I know! Dah la CEO expect there will be NO NEW NPLs FROM THIS YEAR ONWARDS! Gee..Insya Allah. And owh, next week on Monday, we are goin to Ministry of Education (MOE) at Putrajaya (yeah, which is like side by side jer ngan Kakak’s office!) to negotiate about a potential contract breaching of a customer who previously been awarded a project by MOE. My very first experience as a serious corporate banker! Tapi I guess mula-mula ni i takkan handle corporate cases yang core kot sebab Zura banyak handles SME (small n medium enterprises) and contract financing coz Zura says in Islamic, we handles EVERYTHING! Gee!These are the placement :-

1. Conventional Corporate Banking : Kareena, Azmir, Regina, Fathia, Yati and Dalia.
2. Islamic Contract Financing : Rashid Brown, Zaidi.
3. Islamic Corporate Banking (Core) : Nik Irwan
4. Islamic Plans Management : Linda
5. Islamic Premium Consumer Sales : Mida
6. HR : Misha
7. Corporate Communication : Seth Rina
8. Treasury : Heidi, Chen Chen and Deanna
9. Government Institution : Moana

And oh yeah, Azmir has already undergone the operation pasal knee yang cedera tuh/ terkoyak sebab futsal tu and Alhamdulillah everythin’s fine (according to him la!); Seth plak dapat Corporate Communication (She’s really suit that I must say); Heidi’s having vacation to Hong Kong. And today is Deanna’s birthday (Happy Birthday babe!). There will be a so-called surprise for her tonite but I can’t reveal here (in case if she baca here hahaa). After tonite laa hahaha. Above all, the batch is superfun. I’m sentimental…*sigh*

P/s: Gambar last day takder saper pun upload lagi nih! I lupa nak bawak my camera taht day..*wink*

NOTIFICATION UPDATES  (I):

Hhaha..Yep, last Thursday was Deanna’s surprise birthday bash! Initially, her best friend Anissa & her mother called Kareena (and she messaged everyone) about the pot luck-kinda party; but later scrapped out (I guess la coz everyone was like not bringing anything!hahaa). My colleagues planned to meet at Sg Besi coz they are not familiar with Bangi area; since I live kat Seksyen 7 ni yang lebih dekat dengan Sg Merab Luar, I planned to go alone la; gi scouting first her house dengan motor; which happens to be dekat jer but took me like AGES, and calling her mom for like UMPTEENTH TIMES (hahaa) and with some additional sweats and additional instructions from locals and mamak kedai minum, I MANAGED TO FIND HER HOUSE!! Hhehe..my colleagues found this very funny and teased me about it (ahaks!).

My camera plak habis bateri so I had to use my handphone’s camera instead (gee, luckily!) and of course my colleagues were like "OK, Shahrill wanna take picture sso that he can put in Friendster,Facebook and his blog" (hahaha!). Above all, it was a nice get-together sebab lepas ni jarang dah la nak jumpa yang lain. =( 

NOTIFICATION UPDATES  (II):

Went out with Zhafry =). Been ages since i last met him (3-4 months ago!). Yeah, I understand now his work is so loaded lebih2x nak wat presentation tu kan (hehe, quoted from u). Since he is a "camera-shy" although I insisted of taking pichha, I’m taking his profile pichha (ahaks! I will do by hook or crook. Tu la you taknak tangkap gambar, kan?ahaksss). It was nice anyway to have a preview insight of the banking industry from a "senior". Yep, am gonna bug him more often after tis =)

"I’ve Been Awake or A While Now. You Got Me Feelin Like A Child Now".

Believe In Serendipity? I Always Believe Ever Ever After.

A Secret Is Taught, It’s Our Favorite Part Of The Story. Let’s Just Admit We All Wanna Make It Too!

It’s Foolish. It’s Childish. But..

Do you believe in serendipity? Gosh..I know this topic sounds lame and cheezy (I Know!) but yeah, as foolish as it sounds, I believe it deep down. I always believe that God has destined us with someone and He will definitely gives signs in our life to shine the light towards The One. But, yeah in some lonely phase of life, I tend to deviate from that belief and think that it only exists in fairytale.  There isn’t such thing as perfect love of course… but it’s the deepest desire in everyone in this world to have theirs’ as perfecto. The song "Ever Ever After" by Carrie Underwood for "Enchanted" OST is surprisingly illustrates all the doubts I have..Wow, talk about serendipity; sign by God..It’s foolish, it’s childish…but I still believe.  (Those red-colored sentences are the lyrics that really hit me deep)!

It maybe a fairytale. It might be not. It’s only a one-wish away. I Pray…

Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true
Deep down inside we want to believe they still do
And a secret is taught, it’s our favourite part of the story
Let’s just admit we all want to make it too

Ever ever after
If we just don’t get it our own way
Ever ever after
It may only be a wish away

Starting your fashion, wear your heart on your sleeve
Sometimes you reach what’s real just by making believe
Unafraid, unashamed
There is joy to be claimed in this world
You even might wind up being glad to be you

Ever ever after
Though the world will tell you it’s not smart
Ever ever after
The world can be yours if you let your heart
Believe in ever after

No wonder your heart feels it’s flying
Your head feels it’s spinning
Each happy ending’s a brand new beginning
Let yourself be enchanted, you just might break through

To ever ever after
Forever could even start today
Ever ever after
Maybe it’s just one wish away
Your ever ever after

(I’ve been dreaming of a true love’s kiss)

Oh, for ever ever after

Bahasa Cinta Pertama. “Sutramaya.” Tete-A-Tete Over Material Pursuit. Makkah Souvenirs.

Ku Bilang Hari Menghitungi Sepi. Ku Menantikan Kepulangan Cinta Azali.

Dah lama saya tak menulis dalam bahasa Melayu. Bahasa yang  merupakan kecintaan saya dan tak pernah betah saya melahirkan ekspresi paling telus apabila menggunakan bahasa Melayu. Bahasa Inggeris; walaupun saya senang menggunakannya dan tidak punya masalah; tetapi masih lagi kurang sebati dengan diri. Namun, penggunaan bahasa Inggeris lewat dewasa ini adalah untuk memperkayakan dan memperkasa diri dengan bahasa tersebut. Saya sendiri tidak mempunyai masalah berkomunikasi bahasa apapun kerana bagi saya kedua-duanya punya intisari yang sangat dekat di hati saya. Penulisan blog kali ini juga bertepatan dengan penggunaan bahasa Melayu. Sudah agak lama saya tidak menulis mengenai Siti Nurhaliza.  Kalau dahulu, boleh dikatakan saya penggemar setia tetapi kini saya sekadar penggemar musik dan suara beliau. Transisi ini bukanlah kerana saya "bukan peminat setia" tetapi lumrah apabila beliau berkahwin, tahap "kefanatikan" penggemar beliau juga menyusut ke darjah lebih rendah, bukan? Namun, dari segi peribadi, saya sukakan cara penulisan bahasa Melayu beliau yang bijak menggunakan bait-bait kata ringkas dan diterjemahkan dalam transkripsi pengertiaan yang jelas. Anggapan ini tidak dibayangi oleh kegemaran saya terhadap beliau, tetapi merupakan penilaian seorang pengguna bahasa tersebut. Dari segi peribadi pula, saya mengambil ikhtibar kehidupan beliau yang melalui pelbagai perkembangan; dari kehidupan yang serasi dengan diri kita; ke kehidupan ilusi yang tak termustahil terjangkau dari genggaman. Mungkin ramai yang menganggap perbezaan kehidupan sebegini adalah klise; pada mulanya saya pun merasakan begitu; namun setelah melalui suatu frasa hidup ini, saya tersedar yang garis perbezaan itu tetap ada walaupun cuba dinafikan atau dipudarkan. Yang menolong cuma keutuhan rasa dan percaya yang ia masih ada.

Secara umumnya, penghasilan album Siti Nurhaliza "Hadiah Dari Hati" merupakan suatu penghasilan yang menghampakan. Pada mulanya, saya sendiri tidak berapa berminat untuk membeli album ini kerana pada saya tempoh penghasilannya dalam masa yang singkat tidak menjanjikan kualiti yang bermutu; jika dibandingkan dengan album terdahulu yang sangat baik iaitu "Transkripsi". Walau apapun, 3 lagu yang pada saya agak kuat dalam album ini ialah :-

1. "Melawan Kesepian" (Fighting The Loneliness) - Lagu yang dicipta oleh Pongky Barata. Buah tangan tipikal komposer Indonesia yang bisa menggamit jiwa dengan lirik yang ringkas dan jujur. (hurm..I wonder if The Clown understands that. I’m so not in a good mood these days =6)
2. "Mulanya Cinta" (Beginning Of Love) – Ciptaan komposer Singapura Dick Lee yang sangat baik. Merupakan lagu dari Teater P. Ramlee The Muzikal. Kolaborasi Siti dengan komposer-komposer asing sememngnya membuahkan penghasilan yang menarik.
3. "Sutramaya" (Love) – Ciptaan Aubrey Suwito yang pantas, catchy dan fast-paced. Siti Nurhaliza menceriakan lagu ini dengan oktaf vokal yang bervariasi; tinggi dan rendah.

Apa-apa pun, diharap Tahun Baru 2008 memberi sinar baru dalam kehidupan dan kerjaya saya. Benar, hidup ini adalah sesuatu yang indah untuk dilalui walaupun kadangkala ada getir dan perit yang dilalui. Kita hanya mampu mengubati dengan sokongan mereka di sekeliling dan dia yang sentiasa menghargai.

P/s: For the record, I’m not into the song "Hate That I Love You" now. Mood swings and everything’s so coincedence everytime I hear this song. Serendipity? Ergh..I wish =(

Asmara Tiada Penghujungnya. UntukMu Jua.

* NOTIFICATION UPDATES * :

I just finished the tete-a-tete aka meeting with Encik Sharifuddin just now. Well, I guess initially it was really intimidating but it turned out to be some-kinda casual conversation (yeah, so what my colleagues have been telling were quite true!). Although my session was quite short but it was a comfortable one~ it was quite easy for me to talk with strangers rather than with people I’ve known. I tend to stutter or blush or distracted when I talk with people I’m familiar (LOL!). So, now officially, I’m gonna continue my holiday until 7th January 2008 (before being placed in respective department!). Cik Sharifuddin was debating with me which to be chosen; either Islamic Contract Financing or Corporate Communication. I was adamant saying that if were given a choice, I would still choose Corporate Communication but I’m open up to any placement (which is 80% Islamic Contract Financing). Frankly, I really don’t mind to be placed anywhere in the business side; I would like to perceive this as a challege to venture into this new corporate world; learn the ettiquettes and the dirts beyond it. Of course, it’s not gonna be smooth-sailing and I bet there’s gonna be lots of "tears" and "crying-in-the toilets" or "lamenting-to-colleagues-and-You-Know-Who"; but I guess Childlike has to go out from the coccoon someday, and this is the opportunity! I pray to the Lord SWT that I will not be goaded away and led astray from Him in the midst of these materials-pursuit.. Insya Allah.

* NOTIFICATION UPDATES (II) * :

Yesterday, my brother-in law Abang Zam selamat pulang from Makkah. Went to KLIA with Kakak and the airport was crowded with families yang datang nak sambut keluarga masing-masing. It was nice to see the pictures and videos of Makkah taken by Abang Zam. Mixture of awed and amaze..