Tribute To Earadith! Debut Of An Author.

I dedicate tis very entry to my sister who has done something I would cherish! Thanks Sis for ‘partaking’ the KPLI drama. Hhehe. THANKS Babe!!!! Muah! Nanti2x la I treat you Ok.

Besides that, a friend of mine, Halim is to publish a book slated to be released in 8th September kot. The book is entitled “L.U.V.E.” and I wish him all the best! You can google his blog (which I’m sure is a no-hassle as these days it’s kinda like routinal for people to scrutinize my blog, isnt it? Ouch! Hhehe) at http://pingupunyakhutub.blogspot.com/  or the publisher’s site at http://jemariseni.com/  . All the best Pingu Toha! =)

The Amazing Race! : Shielded By The Grace of Lord Allah SWT. (Alhamdulillah!)

Today I witnessed the power of Lord SWT. I’m just thankful and kinda grateful and have to say kinda in awe with the event that happened tis morning. OK, today I went to the KPLI interview which was held at nearby IPDA, Jitra (flew back from KL after a  3 days-course at Institut Bank-Bank Negara at Damansara Heights).

The first round of the interview which was a group assesment was OK; that is without any major glitches (tu yang I rasa jer la.Tak taula plak if the panel were thinking the otherwise). When my name was called for the second time; that is for the individual assesment; I just went in dengan bersemangatnya (I aint gonna say confident coz it’s just not my nature to use that conotation); belum pun sempat duduk, the panels shooted out a ONE HEART STOPPER QUESTION cum STATEMENT :

“Eh, awak tau tak yang awak tak bagi lagi sijil ijazah awak? Kalau tak ada, kita tak boleh proceed dengan interview ni sebab tak guna nak put on hold tanpa sijil ni.

“Tuan Haji (well, the co-panel was adressing the panel like that; so I ikut la), saya rasa saya dah sertakan sijil dokumen ni. Bukan yang ni ker?”

(The female co-panel)” Hello??Apa awak ni! Ni PERAKUAN SAHAJA! Bukannya sijil!”

DARN!!!! I was in a bad situation now. Terjepit, startled, bewildered, nervous and panic= are all like ensembled and swirling around me that time! I must say yang saya tergamam beberapa ketika sebab tak sangka benda ni terjadi. Saya ingatkan sijil perakuan yang saya sediakan merupakan sijil ijazah yang dikehendaki tu sebab memang dalam sijil perakuan tu dah ada tertulis/dictates all the particulars about me, my majoring and my minoring. Saya cuba bertenang and mengawal situasi. Suddenly it spurred in my mind that mungkin sijil ijazah yang sebetulnya ada dalam fail ungu konvokesyen USM di rumah PUTRAJAYA!!!!!

Dengan keadaaan ni, saya seakan-akan mati akal. I mean, just imagine, the important documents that you badly need MASA TU is left at a place that was like bajillion miles away!!! I told the panels that mungkin ijazah tu ada di PUTRAJAYA.To add the salt to the wound, the panels were like saying :

“macam mana pun kalau U nak proceed, U kena produce jugak benda tu sebab tanpa benda tu kita tak boleh proceed. Terpulanglah macam mana U nak buat. Saya bagi tempoh sampai pukul 3 petang. Tu pun paling lewat sebab saya nak kena balik pack semua applications ni”

Saya mati akal. Memang masa tu rasa nak menangis tapi entah kenapa saya kurang emosional. I was actually concocting plan macam mana nak possibly solve this case. I mean, sayang sangat kalao terlepas. Lepas keluar dari bilik interview, saya terus telefon kakak kat Putrajaya minta dia tolong carikan sijil ijazah tu (tu pun kalao ada!) and then by hook or by crook, FLY to Kedah dan sampai sebelum pukul 3 petang!!!! Of course Kakak was like TERKEJUT BESAQ (yalah, gila betul kan the idea?!!) but remained calm. I then called Ayah which was of course a SHOCKING for him as well sebab Ayah orang kuat yang banyak handle semua dokumentasi dan begitu semangat dengan preparation saya utk KPLI ni (mana taknya, kawan-kawan Ayah cikgu-cikgu veteran semuanya beri sokongan dari segi material (YES!!) dan moral). After bagitau to the panels, they agree to interview me dan markah yg diberikan will only be considered if I can PRODUCE the Ijazah sebelum pukul 3 PM. Of course, out of desperation I agreed walaupun sebenarnya tak optimistik everything ends well. Saya memang tawakal ja pada Allah SWT masa tu. I think the interview was OK and I did my best shot. Keputusan pengakhiran is for the panels to decide.

Nak ditakdirkan Allah, Alhamdulillah, ada flight dari KL-Kedah tapi pukul 1.55PM. Jadi expected, Kakak akan sampai ke Kedah pukul 2.55 PM. Jadi Insya Allah sempat nak hantar ijazah dan salinan tu kat panel. Tunggu punya tunggu, lebih kurang pukul 12.30 tengah hari hingga pukul 1.45 PM, hujan turUn dengan lebat dan angin bertiup sangat kencang! Ya Allah, dalam hati saya takut jika flight Kakak delayed. 

Alhamdulillah Kakak berjaya mendapatkan ijazah tuh kat rumah Putrajaya dan kemudiannya terus membuat salinan fotostat di pejabatnya (Jarak rumah di Presint 18 ke ofiz kakak di Presint 1 dekat area Alamanda bukannya dekat!). Kemudiannya, Alhamdulillah Kakak naik teksi terus ke KLIA sebab takut terlepas ERL aka Bullet Train (coz ERL hanya ada setiap 30 minit) dan Alhamdulillah, berjaya dapatkan tiket on the spot sebab nak wat online-booking ada masalah credit card. Sekali lagi, perjalanan flight tanpa delay dan sampai di airport Kedah on 2.55 PM. Dengan masa yang suntuk, Ayah terus memecut (sambil berleter) ke IPDA. Sampai sana lebih kurang pukul 3.15PM, keadaan sunyi. Saya jadi panik.

Kunci bilik interview sudah BERKUNCI!!! Saya sangat hampa and I’m just shattered that Tuan Haji (the panel) tak tunggu saya walaupun dah diterangkan yang Kakak dari KL hanya akan sampai on 2.55PM !! I asked a few she-janitors and seorang pekerja administration di situ and being informed that the panels ALREADY LEFT! I was so DISTRAUGHT that I was speechless! Tapi Alhamdulillah, Kakak took charge. She escorted me to the IPDA office and then to some Unit Peperiksaan (tak ada orang!!!). Semua kakitangan di situ speechless and I have to say not really a helpful lots although one of the staff at Unit Peperiksaan said that the last alternative is to submit the ijazah to Kementerian di Putrajya sendiri (but the panel already said that kalao tak ada ijazah tu, markah interview saya akan diketepikan dan my application will be excluded tanpa penilaian!!).

Dalam keadaan kabut tu, Kakak remained poised and said maybe we can proceed the application to Putrajya ourselves although it will be complicated. Suddenly, Ayah called Kakak!

“Kakak, Ayah dah jumpak Tuan Haji tu. Ayah tegoq dia dalam tandas tadi. Dia kot yang interview Yen tadi.”

Dengan berdebarnya, kami terus ke anjung tempat Ayah berada dan ALHAMDULILLAH! Memang the panel Tuan Haji tu! Nak dijadikan cerita, sementara menunggu kami, Ayah ke tandas. Ayah memang seorang yang peramah dan friendly (that’s why his friends of high ranks and elitist simply ADORE him;I’m serious) jadi Ayah tegur lah Tuan Haji tu masa jumpa dalam tandas dan bagitahu yang anaknya (saya) was having problem tentang sijil ijazah. BANG! Terus Tuan Haji tu kata :

“Tu la, saya dah tunggu lama. Ni ingat nak balik dah ni tapi rasa nak ke tandas pulak.”

OH MY GOD!! Can you see the game now? Tuan Haji tu tak balik lagi becoz ‘nature calls’ of course dan kalau tak kerana tu, mungkin beliau dah balik dan Alhamdulillah, Ayah yang BERTEMU beliau! Without hesitation, saya terus tunjukkan ijazah tu pada panel Tuan Haji tu dan akhirnya…ALHAMDULILLAH! Selesai drama yang mendebarkan ni!

Sepanjang the ‘drama’ took place, I put my hope and faith to Lord Allah SWT. It was really a magical journey and very dramatic. Tapi dengan izin-Nya, akhirnya semuanya berjaya dipermudahkan. Saya felt so terharu that I’m just so appalled to myself that of lately, terasa diri semakin ‘jauh’ dari Allah SWT. But being The Most Merciful, Allah SWT permudahkan kesulitan yang dihadapi dan semua “kebetulan” and luck yang berlaku adalah atas tiket-Nya. Maybe tis sound cliche, but I just feel so blessed by Allah SWT (walau apa2x pun the outcome) that I did a Sujud Syukur (followed what Mak said; it’s a token of gratitude to Lord SWT).  Alhamdulillah.

Bayangkan jika tanpa permudahann-Nya, mungkin :

1. Flight Kakak delayed sebab cuaca buruk
2. Kakak tak ada cash despite and credit card plak ada masalah!!.
3. Kakak terlepas ERL dan waste kena tunggu setengah jam kemudian for another ERL.
4. Tak dapat flight on the spot sebab penuh (cuti sekolah)
5. The panel Tuan Haji dah balik if not for his ‘nature call’
6. Ayah tak bertembung with Tuan Haji panel dalam tandas ; or maybe Ayah tak menegur Tuan Haji tu; seorang yang penyombong dan tak ringan mulut.
7. Kakak tak tinggal at Putrajya but di KL Golden Triangle yg memang jauh dari KLIA or Bandar Baru Bangi. Subang Airport jangan cakapla; sesak nak gi situ tambah2x lunch time.

Sebenarnya, bila pikir balik mungkin saya terlepas pandang ijazah tu sebab semasa saya menganggur mencari kerja, sijil perakuan itulah yang diberikan kepada all the possible employers sebab hanya perakuan itu sahaja yang ada sebelum konvokesyen. Bila dah dapat sijil ijazah yang sebenarnya masa konvokesyen, saya dah bekerja dengan Affin Bank. Jadi sebab tu mungkin terlepas pandang!

Although the whole drama cost me quite amount of money (i’m sponsoring Kakak’s tiket back and fro Kedah-Penang);and in addition to that bulan August ni rasa 6-7 kali naik flight MAS; saya rasa bersyukur dan tak lokek untuk mengeluarkan duit asalkan semuanya berjalan lancar. Memang banyak perbelanjaan dikeluarkan tapi itulah pengorbanan. Kita manusia kadangkala terlepas pandang dan ini juga jadi pengajaran pada saya. Nampaknya sebelum tamat 3 bulan kerja di bank, saya kena mengumpul semula dana yang disimpan! =) … On whole, Alhamdulillah!

State Of Jubilant : Resignation With 3 Months Notice.

Well. That’s it!!  i’ve already sent my tender of resignation aka 3 months notice to Deputy CEO last 3 days ago! Alhamdulillah, it was a brief and breezy thing and goes without any major glitches. Nonetheless, what shocked me was the afterward commotion caused by this hullaballo. Let’s just say that before lunch time, everyone KNOWS that I’m leaving the Bank. Being bombarded with typical questions,etc. Anyway, as for me myself, I feely RELIEVED and PEACEFUL for the first time ever. I’m just happy that I made the decision despite some ‘attempt’ to brainwash’ me or whateverchamacaalit.

It’s kinda sad also that I’ll be leaving the Bank as the people are great; my Mentor Zura has being like the most helpful person. She repeats herself and without hesitation tries her very best to explain any doubts that I have. My Supervisor Zaza also has being very good. I know sometimes she tried so hard to constraint her anger towards me when I failed to deliver the task; and like Zura, she also tries very hard to make me understand when i’m in the ‘blur-kinda-state’. Abg Ali, the BIG GUY of our Bank has also being the most reliable person ever. He helped me a lot in the payment and remittance subjects which I particularly in haze. On whole everyone in the Bank has being friendly and nice but these 3 people are the ones who helped me a lot. Walau apapun, in the end, life has to go on. I have to find my own niche and where I can soar jubilantly; whatever may come, I am happy with my decision; my principle is that my duty is to my heart.

Anyway, in Penang now; waiting for Godsis aka Next Cousin Syarifah Darweena (she’s engaged! i’m jealous) and Khirwan. Muzem dah pegi mengajar. A lot of line-ups have being plan to make full use of my social calendar in Penang (heheh). The moment the plane landed on the island, my heart just went “ahhh”…my island!!! It’s been almost a year since I last come here. Tis time, it’s the real Penangite with the sun and sea=p! And of course, I won’t be describing in detail of what I’ll be doing here as of lately, I ’smelled’ that some peeping tom at my workplace are googling my blog! I always OK with the idea that people to perceive me as a naive person. Just bear in mind that just because the volcano remains dormant, doesn’t mean it can’t cause destruction with its true self; that is when the eruption of lava takes place. I’m not that innocent.

Hometown Rehab : This. I Swear.

The week proves to be very draining and it will continue to be that if I didnt put stopper to it. Each day fluctuates. Sometimes feel OK, sometimes just drain you to the last drop. Anyway, now I’m back at hometown Kedah; a hometown rehab is just essential now to just fix my mind. Even so, I still drag my laptop back to kampung. Why? The cashflow I generated tak siap-siap and a lot of last minute amendment (typical banker work!). No matter. Work as banker is 24-7. Not like other job where you can have holiday and go back punctually. People call you even if you are having MC. People call you even if you are having holiday. Like what Deputy CEO, life as a banker is the LONELIEST in the whole world; even so, if you like it, you enjoy that. For those misfit like me, it’s like carsinogenic cancer ..killing me softly. Life like Grendel’s Mother in Beowulf=(.   I attached a You-Tube of Angie as Grendel’s Mother. Astonishing reflection.

 

 

Threshold Of Quitting Job: O Lord SWT,Where Do I Go From Here?

I’m all drained. I’m thinking of quitting my job. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t think I can put it anymore with the task of my job. The people are all helpful and everything and even the Deputy CEO pays special attention in a fatherly way towards me..but I can’t. My passion is completely ZERO but the expectation for me to perform and outshines is mountainous. This week, I’ve been assigned to two huge projects apart from the documents and cash flow (hari ni sehari suntuk buat pun tak abis) yang tengah buat :

1. Provides information on Enterprise Banking for Affin Islamic website (about the bank products)
2. Represents Affin Islamic in a soon-to-be introduced sistem pengredan loan (yang all are comprises of senior managers; I’m the only one junior).

Just, DCEO called me and expressed his concern that he thinks I’m lacking in comparison with other team mates. He’s very careful in expressing the concern (I guess he wants to jaga my hati) and wants me to shines. He said dulu masa baru masuk Affin Islamic, he can see the FLARE dan POTENSI in me but now I’m trailed behind (tertinggal kebelakang). He commented :

“Loan apa yang U buat la ni? Review, ubah-ubah Term and condition?!! Tak boleh! Buat yang banyak-banyak. Baru boleh maju dalam kredit. Kalau dok terhegeh-hegeh sampai bila pun tak boleh maju dalam bank. Dulu boleh la U trainee tapi bila dah confirm ni kena lah tunjuk. Dulu I tgk you ada potensi tapi sekarang malap. Nik kurang-kurang dah originate RM30 million dah. Ni I ada akaun baru (RM 14 million) I want you to do it.”

I’m suffocating. Even with the minor accounts I’ve being having difficulties, ini kan pula…! Tugas Assistant Relationship Manager ni memang glamour tapi come with a high price. Sometimes dapat invitation dari lawyers or customer dining at hotels or functions. Tapi, tis position jugak merangkap penyiasat, tukang ceti, tukang mengarang (penulis), dll. Contoh rutin :-

1. Relationship Manager kena pastikan tiada akaun yang berhutang (months in arrears atau MIA). Kena pastikan customer bayar hutang by calling up ingatkan supaya membayar hutang cukup bulan. Kalau lebih 3 bulan MIA, akaun dikira hangus; Relationship Manager bertanggungjawab!
2. Kena bijak membaca penyata akaun tahunan (audited accounts) customer dan kesan sekiranya ada salah guna wang oleh director syarikat-syarikat.
3. Kena kenalpasti perniagaan customer dari A-Z; samada dari penghutangnya (debtors), kreditor, jenis perniagaan, dengan siapa barang import-eksport dilakukan, berapa orang pekerja, berapa tempoh untuk satu bahan mentah ke produk lengkap ambil masa, siapa orang kuat di balik perniagaan, mengetahui premis kilang dan tempat perniagaan.
4. Mengetahui keadaan market terkini. Pengalaman saya dengan seorang customer yang membeli mesin dari United Kingdom memaksa saya untuk belajar mengenai pertukaran mata wang asing @ FOREX. Kadar tukaran (rate) Pound sterling/Ringgit yang berubah-ubah menyebabkan rate kena di booking untuk menjaga kadar tukaran customer terjamin. Saya yang masih blurr mengenai FOREX agak gelabah apabila customer berhasrat nak guna Letter of Credit (rujuk Wikipedia) dan convert-kan ringgit ke sterling.
5. Berdiplomasi dengan customer. Sindiran atau marah perkara biasa.
6. Tukang tulis. Apabila semua maklumat diperoleh, tugas Relationship Manager mengarang memorandum kredit dengan ayat-ayat yang berdiplomasi supaya diluluskan oleh pihak Risk Management. Kebolehan bahasa Inggeris sangat penting (walaupun ayat formal lain dari ayat casual yang selalu saya guna!).
7. Mesti buat site visit berjumpa customer atau tapak pembinaan atau kilang sekurang-kurangnya 2-3 kali sebulan. Kenderaan sangat penting. Pengalaman saya yang tak pernah tahu Klang terpaksa pergi dgn komuter lepas tu naik teksi untuk ke Construction site tapak pembinaan hanya untuk memastikan kerja pembinaan berjalan lancar. Nak naik motor tak tau jalan. Sangat susah.
8. Pekerja industri perbankan diikat dengan akta BAFIA (banking Act) yang paling berbahaya di Malaysia. Sekiranya didapati terlibat dalam Money Laundering (check wikipedia) di mana wang diguna oleh pengganas atau aktiviti BERBAHAYA yang TIDAK DIKETAHUI oleh manager, dipenjara dan DISEBAT. Selain rogol, kesalahan ini sahaja yg dikenakan sebat di Malaysia. Amanat? Fikirkanlah.

Terlalu menyesakkan bagi saya sekarang. Saya hormati dan sayang orang sekeliling yang cuba memberi peluang tapi ini bukan medan saya. Tapi mereka punya passion dan kalao cakap pasai bisnes, macam happy sangat.

Im just counting time to fly. Nak cakap kat orang pun orang tak faham sebab yang mereka nampak hanya posisi korporat yang glamour. Mungkin saya orangnya yang hanya gemar bersosial dengan orang dari segi manusia kepada manusia ; bukannya dari segi professional; saya hanya mahukan karier yang tidak melibatkan pengiraan yang mebuatkan semangat setiap ari datang bekerja. Not a JOB. Memang sayang kalao quit sebab gaji pun dah OK. Tapi, kepuasan jiwa lagi penting. Kalao dari Isnin-Jumaat asyik tensen; saya tak mahu. Mungkin buat masa terdekat ni, saya ambil keputusan?

Ya Allah… I’m trapped. My parents memang menggalakkan saya berhenti sebab mereka pun tak tahan dengar setiap hari balik lewat malam, datang awal (di sini anda pekerja yang OK kalao balik lewat; balik punctual TIDAK disukai); bila telefon menangis dalam telefon.. I hope i can nail the KPLI this coming 21 August. Tapi takkan kalao terlalu berharap takkan jadi kenyataan. Komplen kat Yana pun kekadang macam tak faham jer. And cried to Muzem and Linda just now (she happened to come whilst writting tis blog).Whatever lah..Ya Allah,I’m just lost =(

 

NOTIFICATION UPDATES :

Today, I’m on MC; probably due to the stress I had last night. Sampai Putrajya around 11pm. Kakak and Rifqi dah tidor. After the much upheavel, around 3 AM, terbangun rasa loya2x..MUNTAH! It was aterrible state. I was feeling nauseated as well as tired. Around 6.15 AM sekali lagi muntah and loya; ditambah dengan a few cough yang tak baik-baik lagi. Sebab rasa macam lemah sangat nak naik motor gi kerja ke KL dari Putrajya which approximately 50km (and 45 minit journey); I decided amik MC. Pegi Kilink Az Zahrah Klinik Panel Affin and Dr issued a lot of medication untuk :-

• Tahan Loya (ganti elektrolit)
• Antibiotik
• Ubat batuk

My state of mind di waktu kini sangat tak tenteram. Rasa terjepit dan terjerut sekarang. Selama ini bertahan; tapi rasanya better put a stop to it. In teh end, saya yang menghadapi pergolakkan ni. Insya Allah, dalam waktu terdekat mungkin nak bagi notis 3 bulan.

The tension risen bukan sebab yesterday’s tete-a-tete dengan Deputy CEO. Memang dah lama. Tapi, it’s sad to see that he is so passionate about the job and wants me to excel dengan memberi peluang dan treated me in a fatherly way but deep inseide, saya sendiri tak ada flare atau semangat untuk itu. Saya sedih kerana part of me can’t fulfil his expectation sebab I’m not willing to submit myself to the job. Saya sedih kerana he has opened a lot of opportunities for me yang saya rasa memang all other manager yang lagi senior will DIE FOR just to have his attention and affection.  But…I’m sorry Tuan Haji. I’m a misfit from the start and now i want to climb out from the abyss sebelum lagi terjerumus dalam. =( Ya Allah, do guide me.

“You Win My Love.”

Finally I managed to upload the Shania Twain’s “You Win My Love”!!!! This is my song for the moment. The country feel, the yankee-kinda-lyrics (get my motor up,etc) hehe. You guys can hear the song at my Friendster or Tagged pages as I hosted the song via Imeem.com=). Her rendition is typical country with the background guitar ( i tak tau base ker haper ke) and everytime i listen to tis song, my mood is uplifted and yeah…I’m longing for my hometown=). I dedicate tis song to friends who always support me and literally go thru my ups and downs. And to my family; although I sumtimes can be a lazy bump, pampered, spoilt child aka BRAT of the family, the protection and loves always shield me from harms (erk???). I’m just feeling grateful everyday. Tis song is for y’all folks.

You win my love
You win my soul
You win my heart
Yeah, you get it all
You win my love
You make my motor run
You win my love, yeah you’re number one

Residence : From Bandar Baru Bangi Seksyen 7 To Putrajaya Presint 18.

Tis and last week was very hectic and tiring as well. We finally moved to Presint 18, Putrajaya to Kakak’s new Apartment. It was cozy and quite large in comparison to the Bandar Baru Bangi although kinda missed the latter with it’s suburban close-knitted and noisy life. Kawasan Presint 18 ni agak baru so agak lengang sikit walaupun dah banyak penghuni masuk di situ. Rumah kakak ni berhadapan dengan man-made tasik jadi panorama agak scenic dan mendamaikan. Kawasan rumah juga berdekatan dengan Palace of Justice dan Menara Kementerian Belia dan Sukan (KBS); so kalao sesat that can be taken as landmark guidance!

Kebelakangan ni jugak sakit-sakit tekak (sore throat). Ditambah dengan tekanan tempat kerja yang kadang-kadang  menganggu emosi; walaupun orang sekeliling generally very nice especially my mentor Zura for giving me kata-kata semangat last week (thanks Zura!!). Bulan August ni menjanjikan schedule yang padat dan ‘mendebarkan’ juga. Apa-apapun, buat masa sekarang saya bertawakal. Saya juga berpegang pada prinsip kata-kata yang pernah diungkap oleh Nicole Kidman about Tom Cruise’s so called “madly-in-love with Katie Holmes” sumwhere in 2005 ( I forgot where but i remember the exact quote coz it’s very deep) : “It is my nature as human to wish happiness in everyone I love. I’m in different place.”