Could You Cry A Little. Lie Just A Little. Pretend That You ‘re Feeling A Little More Pain. I Gave Now I’m Wanting Something In Return. So Cry Just A Little For Me.
Jukebox Mood : "Cry" by Faith Hill
I’m not sure whether it has something to do with the internal thingies…or maybe because of what I’m facing now. It’s subconciously getting to me *sigh*. Last weekend, went back to Kedah for something and my dear nephew got sick! Mak told me that he was admitted to hospital due to some lung infection; I’m kinda worried for him though. Apart from that, beginning this week (today, Monday 7th April 2008), it looks like more workloads are begin to pour in… it gets to my nerves once in a while; and also last 2 nights I had this mind-disturbing dream…. How I wish I could just shun IT !!! A vision I’ve been so hard not to think just keep poppin in my mind..GOD! The same vision that make me cry in the dream itself (confuse, huh?) last week! Suddenly I feel sad and missing that lil’ feeling of companionship or relying onto something when things go wrong….*sigh* =(
I’m finger-crossing for any opportunities that may come. But, Alhamdulillah, so far everything can still be considered as manageable although I just think I’d go berserk if keep thinking about this…. WORK WORK WORK =(
NOTIFICATION UPDATES (I):
Yesterday I was feeling really miserable =(. Nothing on emotional upheavel. (Well, in a way). It’s the working loads and my career path that make me unhappy. I love the people in my working environment. They have been so far very nice towards me and the atmosphere is really a condusive place for an ideal career-building (i’m talking about my department; not the institution as wholly). It’s just that the working scope is something that get to my nerves yesterday. I aint gonna elaborate that except a hint : My KPI is to get at least an origination financing (credit papers sent to Risk Management) worths RM70 Million !!!!! And for God sake, I’m in charge of SME (Small Medium Enterprise); and that’s TOUGH=(. Hope of digging a goldmine can only be crystalized (erk??) through Contract Financing deals! waaargh! I’ve to really work my ass off in comparison to my other fellow peers =(
NOTIFICATION UPDATES (II):
I was angry. I was sad. And I’m still is. I guess people are right that I’m extra sensitive and I’m difficult. Perhaps I am indeed stubborn as a stone. Maybe I am Dominique Francon of "The Fountainhead"….maybe. And that is sad because in the end, we are just drifted apart. No, I’m not gonna spell it out for you. It’s not gonna be that simple. =(
NOTIFICATION UPDATES (III):
For the past 5 days, I’ve been having relentless time.. I thought dah kena infect dengan demam denggi sekali lagi (and I’m just so scare!); demam panas andd kepala rasa berat sangat! I was really scare yang infection kali ni jangkitan denggi ‘coz the pre-cursor symptoms mcm demam2x panas dan sakit kepala ni are quite similar with the symptoms I had the last time I was infected with dengue. Tambahan pula, my gum (gusi) berdarah sedikit and sedikit bengkak.. On whole, I couldn’t enjoy my anticipated weekend and unfortunately pula, Abg Sri (my cousin) and his family were makin’ plan with ours on the particular weekend!!!
On Saturday, they (including Kakak & Abg Sri) had a get-togezzer at Taman Warisan Putrajaya. On Sunday, they had lunch at our house and sempatlah menjenguk me yang masa tuh memang dah tak larat dah..But of course, keceriaan Kak Maya (Abg Sri’s wife) cheers everything’s up! Only on Sunday itself, baru I told Mak about the fever; and of course, Mak being a mother was going berserk. As a nurse, she knows that a second dengue infection is very dangerous and is fatal. So she asked me to do blood test..
The first blood test ( I have to admit that I was kinda savoring when the needles were poked into my arm. Not satisfaction..more like an anxious relief..) revealed that my platelet number was at 150 (which happen to at the brink of ‘safe zone’. If it were to be below 150 counts, a close monitor must be undertaken. The second day with the blood test, my platelets reduced to 125! I was really anxious, Ya Allah! That night, I bought dozens of 100 Plus (isotonic drinks; thanks to Muzem for reminding me that) and mineral water!
On the third day for blood test, my platelets increased to 130++; my fever pun dah mula kebah, Alhamdulillah; and the doctor said that I dont have to come for another blood test. So, on and all, I’m happy that it was not the dreaded dengue. The doctor said that it was viral infection. Hurm…so today I’m back at the office (as I’m typing these very sentences); resuming my soporific days as a banker….still tired though.