There are many times in life that somehow I wish that I was someone else. So much talkin about loving urself and embracing yourself; one of the days sometimes your moralities just went down to the abyss. Sometimes you just feel like shutting yourself from the world so you can just be safe and sound. I donno what’s wrong; I just feel angry, sad and kinda depressed about everything. Feelin’ like crying. Feelin’ angry with people around me. Feelin’ disgustedly annoying and irritated with people at my workplace, with some friends, with who-may-concern, with everyone. I hate seeing sly sniggers on faces or hush-hush talks or whatever. It’s cliche but it bothers me.
What’s the use of a face that is sugary sacharrine that keeps drawing stares and sniggers with unholy thoughts? I’m not being ungrateful….but I’m so sad..Just sad. But i won’t say it out loud to my family coz I know it’s hard and I don’t wanna make them sad with my sadness. At least out loud, I won’t say these…writting here is where I siphon out. I’m sad =(….
* Hearing Carrie Underwood’s “So Small” in a way relieved the pain I have in my heart now…but still…I’m sad. The lyrics is very consoling and it really memujuk my heart. I just love this song. Every time I hear she says that ” problems like river swallows you”, my heart just say, Carrie, you are singing this song to memujuk me! BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU LAMENT TO PEOPLE, THEY WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND OR TRY TO UNDERSTAND. IN THE END, ALL YOU HAVE IS YOU, YOURSELF AND YOUR OWN.
“SO SMALL’ by Carrie Underwood.
What you got if you ain’t got love
the kind that you just want to give away
It’s okay to open up
go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it’s hard on a rainy day
you want to shut the world out and just be left alone
But don’t run out on your faith
‘Cause sometimes that mountain you’ve been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you’ve been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
seem so small
It’s so easy to get lost inside
a problem that seems so big at the time
it’s like a river thats so wide
it swallows you whole
While you sit around thinking about what you can’t change
and worrying about all the wrong things
time’s flying by
moving so fast
you better make it count ’cause you can’t get it back!