I was tossing and turning on my bed just now; trying so hard to sleep as tomorrow my classes are already slated to begin! I guess the routine of sleeping late for the whole 9 days holiday is still very much seeped in. While I was trying so hard to get myself dozed off, kaledeiscope of reminscences and memories suddenly swirled in the mind of this childlike. And I know that the moment that emotion struck me, I have to write that in my blog- it ain’t oftenly arises, I’m tellin’ y’all~
Life is so crazy and full of surprises. Like the blank pages of an open book, it awaits the person to color them with adventures, stories and discoveries to be etched on them and let them live. But of course, it also full of challenges that one must go through; overcome the odds and barriers; rising from the plunges to the abysses. Whatever that happens, they all are to make us a better human, I guess personally.
As a child and even teenager, I used to be embarrassed of myself. I hate the way I look, I loathe my character; I never thought myself as a good-looking person although some people thought I was cute; given my childlike body frame and face. Although I have the most supportive family ever; a sense of retaliate-back-when-feeling repressed or under oppression; and a considerably smart brain (in comparison to the other children in neighborhood); there was an ugly impression that I was not the superficially-perfect person. And of course, kids could be mean. Names-calling and harsh teasing were not helping that much.
But as time passes by, when you become an adult; when you go through thicks and thins of life; you started to go through metamorphosis of changes. Your confidence is leveled up; you learnt a lil’ bit about grooming yourself to look good; you built up your interpersonal skills; your mind become more relevant to the global community rather than to succumb on the hanky-panky shenanigans of your cocoon – and that’s where people realize your presence. It’s so cliche to say that but it isn’t all about how you look or your face. It’s about being able to feel comfortable in your skin; not to shun yourself but to embrace it irregardless what others might thought about it; it’s about empowering your mind and love yourself- not to let others mistreat you or persecute you. They have their right to judge you in whatever manner they want, but it is up to you to fight for your own rights and dignity.
As the creme de la creme of this entry; I would like to share the story of Kimora Lee Simmons. She was being treated harshly due to the racism- she’s Asian- Afro American; and growing up in area of mostly were of black people, she was constantly being ridiculed about her slit eyes chinese looks. But when she was 14, the Head of Designer of Chanel, Karl Lagerfeld picked her as the child bride in his haute couture runway, everything was changed. I like her statement as (more or less) depicted in E! True Hollywood Stories :
“Everything that everyone thought was gawky and geeky and weird about me is what Karl thought is perfect and extravagant. So that was kinda nice to be embraced in such a way when you were so used to rejection.”
P/s : This is sort of a letter written from me to me. Killing time. It’s 2.12 A.M. now. I have PJK Asas tomorrow. Hope I won’t fall asleep or exhausted for tomorrow’s strenuous physical routine!