I have double faces. I can be saccahrine sweet in one time and the other time, a fu*king bastard, I know! Last week and yesterday were filled with these ‘Gemini symptoms.’ My KPLI mates knows me for being bubbly and cheeful childlike but last week, I just showed them a taste of my ugly side.
There are quite number of events that my class have to organized; namely the IPDA’s road relay and also since we are taking PJK (Physical Education) as one of our minors, we are to be involved in Pendidikan Luar – which meant camping at Langkawi on next month April! Therefore for both events, we are to organize the committees and to deliberate tasks accordingly. While we were having a lecture in lecture hall ( I know!), Raymond was like having a hush-hush discussion with Nurul and all to pick me as the Pengerusi for Road Relay! I was furious! I told them adamantly (in a subtle tone first) that I don’t think I can be the Pengerusi since I am not sure whether I am capable of doing it (I’m full of confidence myself. The real reason is I don’t wanna be associated with tiresome un-credited work. Bad me, I know). But Raymond was like insisting saying that I have the leadership qualities (gah!!) and he saw that in my class activities (Of course, I have no qualm in taking charges in class activities because I am confortable in giving direction over small group that I can navigate). This time, he hit the NERVES! I stormed off and saying that I DON’T WANT TO BE NOMINATED AND IF THEY DO IT, I AM GONNA REJECT THE POST!!! I guess they were dumbfounded and were like – OK… So I remained sulking for the next 30 minutes of the lecture. My mood spoilt.
The next day, I did my Gemini ‘thang’ again. We were discussing about the banner we were to do for Maulidur Rasul and also the Communication Malay subject’s activity-where we have to organize a classroom event; therefore we are to pick who’s-who for the roles in the event. The discussion become draggy as everyone refuses to speak their mind on what slogan shall be put onto the banner and also who are supposed to be who in the Communication Malay subject’s event. I becamse impatient, temper arisen and shot my sharp tongue! In the end, my slogan was used onto the banner – “Rasulullah Mutiara Sepanjang Zaman” and I to become the MC Agung for the Communication Subject’s event along with Sarah. Done! While doing the banner, the whole class was joking and clowning around. The atmosphere was somehow irritates me and got I get carried away by almost kicked Anisah’s face! She was stunned and I saw her face changed. And addition of slat to the wound, I bombarded her – “Shut Your Mouth!‘ She was motionless but I couldn’t care less that time.
Bowling Club at Jitra Mall.
Yesterday, I was moody for the whole morning. My face was stoned and sour. Everyone was wondering and afraid to tegur me. Why I was moody? My mind was SATURATED with mountainous assignemnts and apart from rasa kemalasan to start the day after weekend; and not to mentioned had a rough nite (no need to explain that). But of course as the day gradually proceed dah nak dekat tengah hari and I got the SMS and the call, my mood was OK already. I confronted Anisah yesterday and apologize to her (she confessed that she was offended but being an “otai” girl herself, she’s cool with it. I told her to straight away fire up if she didn’t feel like what I do the next time). After presentation of English Subject – on the Principles and Strategies On How To Teach Grammar (which I was quite satisfied) , I make an announcement to the class, apologizing for my bad behaviour that morning. Everyone was like laughing and our teacher, Pn Faridah ak.a. Patricia Ann was ok with that.
Yesterday night, we have a replacement class for the subject Ilmu Pendidikan with Miss Tina and so happened we learnt about self-personalities (darn!); she was like explaining sifat kendiri positif and negatif and she singled me out as the example :
Shahrill, your friends told me you are sensitive. But you like to smile and talk a lot, arr?Are you like that?
And all of my classmates go like :-
Yes!!! He’s moody!!!
And then Miss Tina was like saying :-
Tu dia…Shahrill dah marah dah…senyum la sket.. Hhahahah
In my heart was like – DAMN!!!! Hahhaha…but I guess that’s the thing I have to control. Anger management and to try to remain poise in whatever situation. I’m still learning. And thanks to all my KPLI mates for being VERY tolerable and understanding. I guess I have to go out from the coccoon label as the ‘adik bongsu’ of the class. THANKS TO ALL and also to YOU for being patient mendengar segala cerita-cerita ni via telefon. I really appreciate that. Sweet of YOU. =)