A mundane birthday to commemorate my 26th years old amidst wishes, SMSes and a “Happy Birthday” song via phone and phone calls. To add salt to the wound, being in an alien land alone and on working day, everything simply just monotonous as if like the B-day is a thin air. Busy with “Angklung Rehearsal” for Teachers’ Day of Hulu Selangor District at Dewan Muktamar Darul Quran, Kuala Kubub Bharu and with the ‘black drama’ on the rehearsal day, everything seemed to drain all of me. Although the line-ups for birthday plan is only till weekend, I am still agitated with anger and frustration.
Of course, I am all touched when I got the phone call. That’s sweet, undeniably. But I just feel totally ignored. Too busy with work and no time to spend time with me? It cuts deep. Really deep. Maybe I am being emotional. With every setbacks coming to me in this weekend ( “Angklung”; Exam papers; SPP documents-and-medical-checkup; prosmiscuos stalkers). Temper is rising very high. And to fire up the flame of the volcano eruption, I am totally ignored. I am shunned away for others. For friends. For work. For nephews. For nieces. Tired. But for me? No time.
I don’t know why I am becoming so emotional and so distress. Maybe I can’t wait for the holidays to come. Then again, the medical-checkup-and-SPP documents fiasco. Really shitty. God, I all topsy-turvy now. When I go haywire, I am not a very good-person. My mouth becomes vicious and my blunt attitude becomes acidic. Things get ugly.