For non-Moslems, fasting in the month of Ramadhan is simply to witness that their Moslem counterparts avoid consuming foods and beverages. Nonetheless, this 3rd decree in Pillar of Islamic Faith consists more than merely the act of not eating and drinking. To achieve a perfect fasting in the month of Ramadhan, a Moslem would have to avoid all negative influences and traits (physical & emotional) such as hatred, angst, envy; avoid doing prohibited acts such as inserting something into body parts holes (poking ears, nose, engaging sexual act) – apart from the foods/ beverages avoidance. This is to teach Moslems to be empathic towards those who are threading lives where foods and drinking sources are scarce.
Anyway, enough with the introduction. At this very point, days in Ramadhan for this year has already entering its 9th days. Cliche but it’s like within a blink of an eye! And so happen that in this Ramadhan, I myself has been tested with challenges to endure the strength of my mind and emotional defences. On the first and second days of Ramadhan, the weather was very unpredictable with rain and scorching hot intertwines back-to-back. With that kind of extreme climate, my body couldn’t take the toll (even rocks crack through this process; what is t for fragile being like me?) and I was having the most dreadful headache and sore throats.
Secondly, my 5 years-old A400 Canon camera had suddenly gone blank. The LCD did not project any images and it’s just so hard to use it to capture pictures when you couldn’t see any images in the LCD! Buy new one? I am thinking about it but perhaps it is not an appropriate time since the festive season is drawing near- which can only mean that money is MORE needed in other MORE IMPORTANT departments (Raya money packets, etc)! Sigh.
Thirdly, my laptop has gone bonker yesterday! Huhuhu…. While navigating the Internet, suddenly the laptop shut down automatically and couldn’t be switched on ever since! The only thing that responses is that there is blinking lights at the side of key pad “CAPS LOCK” and “SCROLL”. I am totally a turkey in gadgets so I have to ask people around for possible-causes. From the status I posted in FB, friends and acquiantances said possibly it is because of RAM problem or OS Windows fiasco! I am sorry that I have no idea what those problems are but surely my laptop needs to be repaired as soon as possible!!!
But of course we always think that we are having the most difficult situation when we deal with the challenges; when actually what other people are experiencing are EVEN MORE DIFFICULT than ours! Allah SWT always has a brilliant idea to awake me from the illusion; whenever I am suffocatd dealing with my problem, Allah SWT will show me what others are experiencing and it always humbled me and make me realize how selfish I am as a fragile being.
Today, I just get to know from my best friend himself, Syafiq Ghause that his wife suffered from miscarriage. I don’t know but it’s just a thing about me that I am easily touched by what the people who are close to me are dealing with; their happiness and their sadness affect me and I just want the best thing happen in their lives; because like I said, I will always treasure people who appreciate me. I know Syafiq is so sad but he kept his voice calm and never cracked while talking to me. I just have the highest salute to him. Right now, his wife is understandably in worst condition (her sister just gave birth to a child!) and I just feel so overwhelmed and sad for both of them. But, God always has miraculous blesses in disguises. Syafiq and his wife have already guarantee that an angel of his unborn child is waiting for them in Heaven;praying for their well-beings. Masya Allah!
Apart from the patience-draining challenges, Ramadhan has also brings me to a new self-disclosure. On Thursday, I woke up and got ready to go to school when I watched Wardina in “Malaysia Hari Ini” said –
‘Bulan Ramadhan ialah bulan kemaafan” (Ramadhan is the month of forgiveness).
Automatically, it slapped me hard. I remembered about the ‘cold war’ between me and my USM friend who somehow without a clue banned me from his FB. I got scare that if I died and I don’t have opportunity to ask him if it was me who caused the rift between us, I might die uneasily. It’s just some pious conscience I had within me. So, by putting aside the ego and embarrassment and despite of believing that I had do nothing wrong, I SMS him asking for forgiveness if it so happened that I have hurt his sensitivities. And Alhamdulillah, he replied and he said it wasn’t my fault and I did nothing wrong. Only in that time he was pissed off and my ‘clownish’ comment was to add salt to the wound. Alhamdulillah. I am just happy that although maybe our friendship might never be the same because it would be too awkward, I had clarify things out and everything is saccharine sweet because it was done by the name of Allah SWT, Insya Allah.
Me & Zaini during Teachers’ Day – Courtesy of Cikgu Khairul.
A myriad of Ramadhan colors. Hope I will be stronger and be half as strong as people around me.