When I have butterflies in the stomach or experiencing nerve-racking attack, I can’t sleep. And when I can’t sleep, my mind automatically thinks and ponders. And in this 2.17 A.M., I opened my notebook and siphoning out what I have in mind just to clear my system. Maybe that’s why I love writing. It’s a valve; a channel; or a pipe for me to pour in what I may not able to say out loud- when you speak your mind verbally; sometimes it can be easily misunderstood.
It has been a colorful phase of life. And I have nothing to say but truly blessed (Alhamdulillah!). It’s true that I’ve been etching this for like bajillionth time but it is. Strangers might not able to see- all they see is a simple TEACHER who perhaps in their eyes don’t match their corporate white-collared statuses. But as they learn the real color beyond this simplicity, they are taken and bewildered and curious to know more. The whole processes are cliches and yes, I have to say I love the idea of shocking people with peekaboos of my true color and talent – beyond the fabricated naivety.
But of course, I can never deny that I’ve always been this simple nerd. It’s always in me although I’ve evolved a lot from the facade. And honestly, I just love the fact that of who I was and is. I don’t go for branded stuffs; my hair is absolute nerdish toupee; my clothes aren’t trendy (I am most comfortable in old Pagoda white shirts and jeans and sport tracks).; and I love reading! It could be a little bit stirring for others who are definitely brand-conscious or status-conscious and I am sure they do scorn and jeer at me – but like I said, it is who I am, and I am proud of it.
And it’s just overwhelming as well as therapeutic to have someone come up to you and say :
“Your simplicity is what makes you so unique. And to have it with your ideologies and opinionated words, it makes you a wholesome YOU.”
But of course, haters always have different opinions. Of that, I rest my case. But for aficionado, simplicity is what I am best at. And is. (,”)
End of writing at 2.41 A.M.