I am really not that innocent as my face. I can be very acidic and vile when things go wrong; I can be very insensitive when my mood swings; I can be very pain-in-the-ass when I feel neglected. It makes me sad seeing people around me who have been so loyal and patient have to weather my tantrums. It makes my eyes water to realize the kindness shown to me despite my flaws and harshness. It makes me ashamed to realize that I am so lucky; who am I to deserve such patient soul?
Yes, life ain’t perfect. So does ties and relationships. There are bound to be typhoons and tides. But most of the rough weathers are caused by me. I am the dark in the light; I am the anger in serenity; I am the curl in the straight lines; I am the Yang in the Ying.
It has been 4 years. Nobody could ever tolerate me even for longer than 3 months (from previous ones); let alone a year. But, when it does; I am being irrational and my razor mouths just zapped – again and again. God knows I am battling myself with such bad act. I have a devilish daemon in me. I want to change but the dark side emerges when things go wrong. The song “Halo” speaks about my gratitude in volume. But, am I worthy for that kind of love and dedication? God, I pray it won’t fade away….
I feel related to what Angie had told Marie Claire about Pitt in January 2012 :-
“[Brad] has expanded my life in ways I never imagined. We built a family. He is not just the love my life, he is my family. I hold that very dear. I suppose what I’ve learned from Brad is to be able to have the kind of family whose happiness and well-being comes before your own. I’m very very grateful to have such a loving family, and I wouldn’t have that without him.”