I live by impulse. Logic usually inhibits my freewill and I feel caged by that. With my impulse, comes the spontaneity. Like what I have written yesterday on the first entry, I became restless when I heard about the demise of Pak Su ‘Id. I couldn’t sleep and suddenly, I had crazy idea to dash back to pay last homage! I mean, what for was I waiting for? I couldn’t sleep and rather than wasting my time tossing and turning on bed doing nothing, I might as well follow what my heart says to alleviate the distraught & also to show last respect to Pak Su ‘Id. So at 4 a.m., I just grabbed the car key and pushed off!
The beautiful morning scenery at Menora Tunnel in Perak. A very rare time so I took the opportunity to immortalized God’s Creation of this beautiful misty Malaysian rainforest! Subhanallah!
I arrived at Permatang Pak Maras, Penaga circa 10.45 a.m. after several stops at the R&R along the PLUS Highway. The crowd was thronging the house. I felt jitters inside and quite shaken. There were a lot of people and I slipped and sneaked between them to the patio in front of the house where villagers were sitting crossed-legs and a few familiar relatives were sitting there. The patio was adjoined with the living room; simply parted by sliding door wide-opened; and there I could see a body covered with a white canvas. I moved forward amidst the many people who don’t recognize me as one of the relatives and then I saw Mak Su Ton; so I went straight to see her. At this moment, she was still calm with her casual tone voice :-
“Bila mai ni?” – When did you arrived?
Two rounds of “Teh Tarik” to keep me awaken from Serendah to Butterworth, Penang. I got dizzy because I couldn’t sleep and anxious to reach Permatang Pak Maras, Penaga! Since I didn’t take pictures there out of respect, I uploaded this picture I took this morning.
At this position which was just at the side of the body, was the right angle to see the face. When I turned my face downwards to see the face, I was automatically immersed with overwhelmed melancholy; my hairs stood and my eyes began to water. The familiar friendly face was a lifeless pale; with visible cuts on the skin and blood stains too thick to be washed away. My tears fell endlessly as the image of him played in my mind, an ironic situation with what I saw on the living room floor. And the sharpest fragment of the memory would definitely be the previous Aidilfitri 2014 celebration (REFER to : https://undomiel84.wordpress.com/2014/08/28/aidilfitri-2014-all-syawal-1435-hijr-the-ukhwah-between-families-colleagues-pupils/) where our Raya round-up planning (from one house to another house) collided with Pak Su ‘Id’s as well; the plan was to go to each of the uncles’ and aunties’ houses but Pak Su ‘Id himself made his own round-up with Mak Su Ton and we just bumped into each other as were about to go to another house. In short, no time to really have a chat or talk. I felt so sad that I couldn’t talk to him for a longer time. With that memory perched to my mind as I was looking at his lifeless pale face, I became tremendously affected. *Sniff*
The villagers recited the usual prayers and then it was time to put the body into the coffin. With the first 3 steps out from the house; each of the steps intertwined with the recital of Al-Fatihah intervals; the atmosphere was very melancholic. Mak Su Ton was sobbing soundly but an elderly woman soothed her in a stern way, indicating that she should grip herself and sooth her heart with the recital. At that moment, I felt that Islam is such a beautiful religion. If you take a look deeply, Moslems are not permitted to wail frantically when they lose someone they love although the heart wants to do it; Why? Moslems must bear in mind that everyone will return to ALLAH SWT. But to cry or letting the tears out is encouraged as Prophet Muhammad SAW himself said that :-
“This is compassion which Allaah puts in the hearts of His slaves. Allah shows mercy to those of His slaves who are merciful.”
Masya ALLAH, beautiful. It’s all about inner peace. I found Anjang Yob and walked with him towards the Lahar Tabut Mosque where the body was to be prayed upon and buried. On the way, Anjang Yob told me a few thing about Pak Su ‘Id prior to his death :-
- During the recent Aidilfitri 2014, Pak Su ‘Id has renewed the tombstone (“Batu Nisan”) of my late grandfather’s, Wan Mail who died 20 years ago in 1994 & Pak Su ‘Id also had Waqaf (giving materials for public usage) of 2 roofed-sheds which usually used for Talkin (Prayers of The Dead) recitals; – Turned out that Pak Su ‘Id was buried at the side of my late Wan Mail’s grave with the tombstone he renewed prior to his death. Subhanallah! *Gasps!*;
- Usually, Pak Su ‘Id and Anjang Yop will car-pool together if they want to go to any wedding invitations and Pak Su ‘Id will jokingly pestering Mak Anjang about the “oil costs, etc” just to irk her; – But for the latest plan of carpooling, Pak Su ‘Id didn’t say anything at all.
I was so sad hearing that. Anjang Yob also told me that Pak Su ‘Id was riding his motorcycle from work (he was a soldier/warden retiree based at Kem Paya Jaras years ago) and he tried to avoid some fast vehicles and got himself injured and cut. How? Nobody knows. By what? Nobody knows. Except that the cut was severely deep at the head (I was crying vehemently when I heard this part and right now as I am jotting this, the goosebumps still felt & my eyes water) and through the ribs. Witnesses said that the blood won’t stop. And he passed out from that moment; to hospital; and to his very last minutes. My body was shaken hearing this.
I joined the “Talkin” recital along with Yassin and Ayat Matsurat and all. It was really surreal. Who would have thought that this Syawal and Ramadhan will be Pak Su ‘Id’s last time? Who would have thought he would be met with fatal accident? AND do we know when will our OWN time come? Tomorrow? Tonight? Or 2 seconds after this? ALLAH HU AKBAR, God is Great.
After all done, I met with Ayah & Mak who just arrived from Jitra (they came yesterday night but went back to Jitra because Ayah is a chauffeur to his contractor friend, assigned to take the kids back from school; well not exactly work, more like friendly gesture with payment as Ayah is a likeable person so he kills time doing these to earn extra bucks; he takes his responsibilities SERIOUSLY; that explained why he dashed back!) & Abang Anuar who arrived via flight. I can’t use flight because traveling from the island to mainland will be hassle!
Despite Anjang Yop’s adamant persistence for me to take a shower first, I said that I had to go back as soon as possible as everything already done. My heart felt a bit lighter that at least I got to show last respect to the late Pak Su ‘Id. Yes, it was tiring but I felt so at ease because I did what I long to do although it isn’t very rational to travel from Serendah to Penang BACK & FRO in just a day, right???! I am happy that I have succeed in executing my responsibility as a relative and a nephew and showing the commitment to the family. This incident transpires one great lesson : –
“We must never take our relatives, siblings or anyone we love for granted for we never know when will they leave us. If it happens, instantaneously; everything changes and gone. “
Inalillah, Pak Su ‘Id. You will always have a special place in my heart & memory as an uncle who always want to bridge the gap between relatives; always get in touch with relatives; and always a thoughtful person. As I am writing this very last sentences, my eyes are watering again and I know that you will be placed in God’s Heaven as you are a good soul. I pray to ALLAH SWT that I will have enough strength to cope with reality when one day Mak & Ayah pass away. Ya ALLAH. I dread the day, but I have to prepare. At least, let it happened when I am already prepared. Amin, amin, amin.
Just a memory. Pak Su ‘Id & I during Eid 2011.