Perhaps I am too sensitive. I can’t help it. I guess it is all an au naturel. When you have someone who is totally the opposite of you; a total rogue, straight-talking, mental-provocative; in your life, there bound to be glitches.
I agree that I can be dramatic. But I hate being defied or put against upon. Whereas the other party always hates seeing me like that; always wanting to topple me from the comfort throne. Perhaps it doesn’t even make sense to even write this piece of shits because eventually perhaps, it will recede. But sometimes, it is too tiring to always becoming the pillow for all the darts to pierce through; one by one. Sometimes, I get tired with all the endless mental-provocations. My inner demon boils instantaneously! It is tiring when you can never be perfect; there are always flaws and things about you that are not satisfactory. I know that it is purposely concocted just to make me piss off (someone think it is cute to fight like that; I say it is the suckiest thing ever!! Feel like cursing! My mouth ain’t an angel!) BUT, can we just shut the FUCK UP and drive? Gosh!
Tonight, I am spending night at Putrajaya. Just had night tete-a-tete as usual at Downtown Cheras after “Integrated Marketing Communication” class at UPM, Serdang. Along the way, relentless provocations. Sometimes, the other person find it is amusing to make you piss off and angry and tick off; while you as the sensitive heart began to erupt the volcano; cries and endless dramatic exclamations.
As I was driving back, I listened to this track of Taylor Swift which clearly speaks my mind now. I don’t know; perhaps I am being dramatic and it is shitty but I express what I feel inside via writing & alphabets. It is getting tiring, sometimes.
Remember when you hit the brakes too soon
Twenty stitches in a hospital room
When you started crying
Baby, I did too
But when the sun came up
I was looking at you
Remember when we couldn’t take the heat
I walked out, I said, I’m setting you free
But the monsters turned out to be just trees
When the sun came up
You were looking at me…………..”
With the lyrics, I wonder; should I be staying in the woods? Or should I move to the clear? Or could it be that the monsters are just trees? Should I become like the fragile Snow White who got afraid seeing the night-time gleaming eyes of the beasts; only to know that they are actually harmless animals; or the Little Red Riding Hood; small but venturing the woods alone just to find grandmother and defeated the Big Bad Wolf?
Yeah, although now I am fuckingly screwed like Snow White; but I know in the end I am the stubborn ass Little Red Riding Hood. It’s just that I wanna express what I feel now; just to siphon the frustration and anxiety. It will pass. Little Red Riding Hood will tame the Big Bad Wolf with a lasso.