I am writing this as an aid to myself. It is my alter-ego giving advice to my primary self.
Like a melting pot of emotions, that is what I am now. I am a being saturated with dilemma of decisions. The future to unfold seems quite intimidating. But I understand that in the end, I cannot rely on anyone but myself. Everything depends on myself. I have to choreograph the path I want for my life. I have to dare to take the risk. I have to be a braveheart.
Be strong, Shahrill. You can go through this.
The earth is cold
The fields are bare
The branches fold against the wind that’s everywhere
The birds move on
So they survive
When snow so deep
The bears all sleep to keep themselves alive
They do what they must for now
And trust in their plan
If I trust in mine, somehow I might find who I am
But where do I go from here?
So many voices ringing in my ear
Which is the voice that I was meant to hear?
How will I know?
Where do I go from here?
My world has changed and so have I
I’ve learned to choose
And even learned to say goodbye
The path ahead’s so hard to see
It winds and bends but where it ends
Depends on only me
In my heart I don’t feel part of so much I’ve known
Now it seems it’s time to start,
A new life on my own……
This song from “Pocahontas 2” is not really a catchy-tune-once-listened-like-magical-Alan-Menken’s but the lyrics speaks what I feel now. Read the lyrics. You will understand.