Alhamdulillah; another year passes and I am a year older. I am now officially 31 years old. At this juncture of my life, I have a lot of unsettled missions and ambitions to achieve.
I know the path ain’t easy. I know people doubt my ability or my suitability. But I don’t live to conform the naysayer gossipers. When I went to Kuala Lumpur for first time working at AFFIN Bank in 2007 (REFER to https://undomiel84.wordpress.com/2008/08/14/state-of-jubilant-resignation-with-3-months-notice/), that was a big change in my life. When I quite banking & join KPLI to become teacher in 2009 (REFER to https://undomiel84.wordpress.com/2009/01/15/kpli-a-sillhouette-to-the-world-of-educating-youngsters/) , that was a big change in my life. When I first came to provincial Serendah in 2010 (REFER to https://undomiel84.wordpress.com/2010/01/18/welcome-to-serendah-provincial-mythical-tranquil/) , that was a big change in my life. When I started pursuing Master of Corporate Communication in UPM in 2014 (REFER to https://undomiel84.wordpress.com/2014/02/13/master-of-mass-communication-episode-3-the-choice-master-of-corporate-communication-mccomm-universiti-putra-malaysia-a-k-a-upm/), that was a big change in my life.
Life is not to be defined by others. People who talk about others are those who refuse to crystallize their dreams. Sarcasm, cynical, satires -just valves to express their jealousy & dissatisfaction of their own pathetic lives. With God’s bless & the Doa of people I love, I am seed to be watered into flower. Not an easy road but this is life.
Exactly one year ago on my 30th birthday, I had the Labbaikallah; the calling of the Black House to perform Umrah with Mak (REFER to https://undomiel84.wordpress.com/2014/06/23/the-bride-of-the-red-sea-episode-xvi-the-2014-umrah-part-i-1st-pilgrimage-with-qarnul-manazil-as-miqat-makkah-al-mukarramah/). It was an amazing experience.
I never get accustomed to celebrate birthday with lavish parties. And as I get older, I realize that I am no more enticed with all these “surprises” and all. Just simple wishes will do justice. But my parents are darling folks. Mak prepared Nasi Ayam while Ayah with his earnest generosity lavished me with Laksa and all kinds of fruits (durians, mangoes), Apam Balik and many more. Their hearts are so earnest for their kids; Kakak and I whenever we go back. This really touches me. I hope I can treat their kindness in my own little ways. And Kakak also is such a darling; she video-called me from Leeds fro birthday greeting! Thanks so much!
Yes, I realize that. And I am thankful.
Getting wishes from friends, acquaintances and students are nice but getting wish from person I love is gravitating. 5 years it has been, and still the feeling is unscathed. Our lives are unconventional. But I am happy. I couldn’t ask for more. Although we could not be together on 1st of June but thoughts that count. Telephone calls and messages are tokens of appreciation. Especially from someone who had lost parent in such tragic manner (will write about it later). Being an orphan even at the ripe age is an excruciating pain.
I love the authenticity of this song “You’re In Love” by Taylor Swift. It has the Spandau Ballet’s quality. Apparently the song is inspired by love relationship between Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff. It also reminds of my own love story. Unconventional but it happens. 5 years, it has been.
On whole, I am happy and grateful with the loves I have in my life. Unconventional but makes me happy and grateful. Taylor Swift’s song “You’re In Love” best describe my feeling (Taylor Swift is such a damn good writer!) :-
One look, dark room
Meant just for you
Time moved too fast
You played it back
Buttons on a coat
No proof not much
But you saw enough
Small talk, he drives
Coffee at midnight,
The light reflects
The chain on your neck
He says look up
And your shoulders brush
No proof, one touch
You felt enough
You can hear it in the silence, silence
You can feel it on the way home, way home
You can see it with the lights out, lights out
You’re in love, true love
You are in love
Morning, his place
Burnt toast, Sunday
You keep his shirt
He keeps his word
And for once you let go
Of your fears and your ghosts
One step, not much, but it said enough
You kissed on sidewalks
You fight and you talk
One night he wakes, strange look on his face
Pauses, then says, you’re my best friend
And you knew what it was, he is in love
So it goes
You two are dancing in a snow globe, round and round
And he keeps the picture of you in his office downtown
You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars
And why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words
Shahrill Ramli, at the age 31 years old; 1st of June 2015.