I am back to Serendah, Hulu Selangor. After a week spent at Jitra, Kedah; tomorrow the school reopens. Still, my heart has thousand of murky colours, needed to be siphoned out but too flamboyant to be exhibited candidly.
It would be a heart-wrenching scene to see from brawny to scrawny. As per visualized by Christian Bale in “The Machinist”.
I have received news that the condition still hasn’t change. I was told the body becomes thinner and scrawnier each day due to the decreasing of appetite to eat as well as the failure to sleep. My heart sores when I knew this. I am adamant for psychiatric’s approach. I think an anti-depressant will be a great help but of course, I sense some reluctance – perhaps due to the Asian taboo; I have touched on the polemics in https://undomiel84.wordpress.com/2015/04/14/the-road-to-recovery-my-1st-priority-changing-the-psychological-taboo-of-an-athletic-malaysian-chauvinist/.
I feel so restless. All I can do now is pray and hope. But I believe we will find way to overcome this. Hearing Siti Nurhaliza’s “Jaga Dia Untukku” is like what I feel in my heart, embedded and siphoned out through music. Perhaps what I wrote in the previous entry (REFER to https://undomiel84.wordpress.com/2015/07/19/my-promise-prayers-as-my-talismans/) is true; on what Siti Nurhaliza has quoted :-
“This is a test of loyalty to strengthen the relationship.”
God, please take good care.