Talking to people keep my mind sane. I can’t suppress problems. I need to siphon out – whether literally or metaphorically. Writing and blogging about problems also serve as therapy for me. Apart from that, I am also inclined to share stories with certain few people that I think can relate and understand my plights.
I am grateful to have few friends who are very attentive towards my condition as I have been expressing myself quite candidly (albeit via metaphorical words) in Facebook. I can’t deny that I am worry for the deteriorating condition. But hopefully all is well.
A friend related to me about her experience being harassed by “Santau” and how she practiced ‘Ayat Ruqyah’ (Quranic holy verses used for Islamic exorcism) and how after performing Umrah, Alhamdulillah that her condition became better. The experience did jeopardize the relationship with her old flame but God is Great – she finally found marriage with another worthy man. I feel so happy for her. But she said that for precautions, she still practices the “Ayat Ruqyah”. God bless her.
Another friend related her own anxiety attack experience when she was in Form 6. It was a dark moment and anti-depressants didn’t do justice. Finally, she relied to herself. By buttressing her own mental strength, she combated that depression paranoia as well as doing exercises and a lot of things to deviate her mind from too indulged with the problem – and finally manage to overcome that! I am so exhilarated and inspired by the story.
At school, I found solace in two colleagues. Of course, you don’t talk to people who are not good listeners. I talked to people I feel related to and with the same wavelength of mind and empathy alike.
The first colleague shared her own experience of depression when her mother died. She felt there was no use for her to live anymore. The purpose of living was gone, since her mother was the only parent living. For two years, she was like a zombie – did not or interact with others and preferred to be aloof (although she still maintained her excellence performance as an efficient teacher). Her headmistress was concern with her condition and persuaded the husband to move so that my colleague could start a fresh air and a new life. Finally, my colleague crawled back to the light and gradually rediscover herself.
But the most heart-wrenching experience was the one I heard today. A good-nature senior colleague with friendly face; I never knew that the face hided thousands sad stories. Apparently, she was attacked via “Santau Angin” from a man who was angry that his love was rejected by my colleague. The vow was that my senior colleague would never experience bliss and happiness for the rest of her life. Imagined that when she was about to solemnize the wedding, she experienced ‘mystical attack’! And not just that; another woman, apparently an Ustazah who happened to be a housemate also sent her ‘Santau’; which perhaps done due to suspicion that my colleague told people about the Ustazah’s alleged affair with a lecturer – which my colleague did not even pay any heed! Imagine an Ustazah getting indulged in the black magic! But my colleague is so strong. I am humbled by her experience. Despite experiencing continuous anger and distress for 12 years and blessed with 7 kids, she has successfully completed her Master’s Degree with 1st Class Honour. She is still suffering until today, despite 12 years the thing happened. I am amazed with her. I only pray that ALLAH SWT will pay back to the people who did these to her!
On whole, all of these experiences really humbled me. I want to take these people’s strength to motivate myself as well the one who is battling the possible problem, now. God bless, Insya ALLAH.