Unfortunate streak, back-to-back. I am not superstitious nor I am the one who likes to blame destiny for any setbacks that happen. But lately, it seems the serenity of my life is challenged and my Zen is disturbed. It began with :-
- My car gone kaput and cost me RM8,000 (REFER to https://undomiel84.wordpress.com/2015/09/27/the-car-coolant-the-gasket-my-car-breakdown-incident-km-250-7-plus-north-south-expressway/);
- My cat – more like Ayah & Mak’s pet; Crookshanks died (REFER to https://undomiel84.wordpress.com/2015/10/02/r-i-p-crookshanks-the-last-kitten-of-duchess-the-demise-of-the-fragile-frail-feline/);
- My laptop’s keyboard was ruined and I had to splurge RM130 at PEMBINA Cybercafe at Seri Serdang. The hassle was due to the technician owner who was supposed to attend to my laptop for merely a day but when I went there the day after that, he nonchalantly told me that he actually FORGOT to scrutinize my laptop!!! Imagine travelling from Rawang to Serdang for that! I was fumed with anger but had to recoil when there was no other way except to oblige that I have to take the laptop in the upcoming 3 more days due to scarcity of the suitable keyboard model! Sheesh!;
- The piping of my rent house was having severe leakage. Have to call the owner and the co-owner who I always dreaded of having any affiliation with;
- The Sistem Rondaan Sukarela (SRS) in Desa Anggerik, Serendah in my rent house area went berserk that some “nomads” and renters do not actively participate in their activities, including Yours Truly. They erect a small hut practically in front of my house. I came back around 9.30 p.m. on the eve of Maal Hijrah and found commotion held at the hut. Reluctantly, I joined the gathering and as expected, it was a SRS gathering and several sarcastic and blunt words were thrown (in general) and some dissatisfaction arose about the dormant residents like me who don’t participate. They don’t accept the busy schedules as “they also have other commitments”. Seemingly that Tamu Hill in Batang Kali area also practiced the same concept. I wished I am in a gated area where you can just hire security guards;
- My Tamu Hill new house is incomplete! Apparently, the developer or the contractors did not complete the wiring as it should. Ayah, Mak and I went there with our electrician and he pointed that lackadaisical wiring, much to our dismay. Today, Ayah and the electrician decide to go to Ligamas HQ. I don’t like the feeling as if I am burdening Ayah with my own problems. I wish I can settle these things myself but at the same time, I do need someone else’s help. I am worried about Ayah’s diabetic state and I hate people’s scorning jeers thinking I am such a dependent childlike who rely on parents. But at the same time, I do need the help in order to make sure things to be settled.
- I have to reconstruct my questionnaire for my mini research on “Malaysian Moslems’ Perception Towards Cadbury’s Image Repair & Its Halal Image” in the Effectiveness & Appropriateness section. I know Ayah & Mak want to help me to settle the house and miscellaneous problems so that I can concentrate on my study but at the same, I feel the burden for being a burden – you know what I mean?;
- I fell sick out of sudden on Monday, 12th February. I was feeling strange kind of lethargic. I dread that it was dengue because I ate two pills of Panadol (Paracetamol) but proved to no avail. I went to Serendah Poliklinik after school and was told that perhaps there was bacterial infection at the lungs, travelled from the Tonsilitis I experienced before that.
Voldermort split his soul into 7 slices and transferred them into cursed paraphernalia. I wish I can do that to cater to each things that really need my attention. So many things to think.
There are so much things to do, with so little time. I was wondering; can we split a soul into 7 pieces ala Harry Potter’s Horcruxes; so that everyone who desire our bits of attention could have us for their own sake? At this point I am feeling quite restless and stressed. But what good would I engender if I coop myself too much in these hullabaloos? I have to emancipate and goad myself away from these dark emotions. I have to keep it cool. To meddle the mind with unnecessary thing will only worsen the situation.
Looking at my pupils at school; sometimes I do envy them for being so ignorant and innocent and they don’t have to think about all these adults’ matters. They just lead their carefree lives like there is no tomorrow. Writing is my solace stela. In the end, I need to weather all these with open heart. Sometimes, hearing about the plights of my colleagues – for example like Kak Marhayu; make me so dwarved. Her life experiences are more challenging than mine – supernatural anathema, unhealthy children, house was broke-in by burglars, her husband met an accident when he was tailing the ambulance carrying their asthmatic ailing son; etc. In comparison to hers, my plights are only dwarves! I should relax and face them with dignity. Siti Nurhaliza’s “Lebih Indah” really inspires me. It says that life needs challenges to add colours in it. I can get through this rain :-
Pelangi.. Terlihat tika adanya
Titisan hujan begitu resam alam
Perlu ada kepelbagaian cabaran dan dugaan
Membuat hidup lebih indah
Di sekelilingmu ada dinding-dinding
Yang menghadangi dan menghalangi
Di sekelilingmu ada laut-laut
Yang menghampari dan merintangi
Jiwa serta raga cinta jua cita
Kau harunginya kau harunginya
Umpama purnama jingga cantiknya di langit senja
Warnanya yang tercipta dari debu zarah udara
Mengajar hidup kita ragamkan menghasil yang indah
Tiada yang mustahil di dunia segalanya mampu ditawan
Sejauh manakah kemahuan demi ke sana
In this point of time, I withdraw my motivation from my No.1 inspiration. My plights are minuscules to what Angie experienced on regards of her cancer. You know sometimes we think our problems are the toughest in the world; yet there are others who experience WORSE than us. So, we should be mindful and be grateful, no? God bless.