I write when I need things to explain what are embedded in my heart. Yes I am quite an orator (not excellent but quite commendable) but it can be frustrating when people fail to respond the way you aspire them to be. I am now at Graduate Wing at UPM; after having an eventful day.
Today it was supposed to be a day off since the haze is at the alarming stage. Nevertheless somehow, Pejabat Pendidikan Daerah (PPD) Hulu Selangor makes it mandatory for teachers and staffs to attend the school today. I am not sure whether it is just my school administration or what (which can be claimed if there were to be any dispute arisen) but usually my Headmistress will follow whatever instructions issued towards her. So, I didn’t think it was my school’s administration but for the whole PPD Hulu Selangor. Irregardless, no complaints or whatsoever – despite cooping myself in the class and inevitably exposed towards haze, I’ve managed to finish :-
- Tabling out the most of Tahap Penguasaan grading for my 5 Pelangi pupils;
- Tabling out Tahap Penguasaan grading for 2 classes I have been teaching apart from 5 Pelangi – that are 5 Purnama & 5 Mentari – towards their respective teachers;
- Completing the English Language PBS Assessments for 5 Purnama, 5 Mentari & 5 Pelangi & sent them via VLE FROG as per administration’s order;
- Run the Alpha Cronbach Test for my Pilot Test which I managed to carry out based on 33 respondents from my teacher colleagues (after much of coaxing and pleading!).
After school, I pushed off to UPM for my appointment with my supervisor. I voiced out my doubts and questions pertaining the direction of my research which seemingly to exhibit a lot of flaws & loopholes when I discussed with my peers and a few seniors. I was being candid and honest about :-
- My choice of implementing a 4 Likert Scale instead of the usual 5 – as appointed by a senior : The dilemma is that by putting a Neutral choice; a researcher was trying to avoid as if he/she is forcing the respondents into directions either positive or negative answers. Nevertheless, the rationale is that what does the question demands and what direction you as the researcher is forecasting towards to. Isn’t a questionnaire is supposed to give you information on the directions you are seeking for? In short, 4 Likert Scale is OK because you want SPECIFIC ANSWERS;
- Can my questionnaire contains pictures? The rationale : Yes, why not? If it helps the respondents as stimulus to give them the most apt responses;
- My data are mostly in Descriptive Statistics (Nominal & Ordinal) and in the Research Presentation (Chapter 1-3) on 10th June 2015 (REFER to https://undomiel84.wordpress.com/2015/06/10/my-research-paper-presentation-chapter-1-3-academic-discussion-on-malaysian-moslems-perception-towards-cadburys-image-repair-its-halal-image-faculty-of-modern-language-commun/), panelists commented that my research seemed mediocre ala Degree style whereas it is supposed to contain some Inferential Statistics which will reflect the ‘sense of Master’s Degree level”. My supervisor rationalized that it should be no problem because those are not in my Research Objectives and I shouldn’t be bother about that;
- A lot of people argue that my Quantitative research should contain VARIABLES as opposed to what my supervisor has outlined to me and caused such an uproar in the presentation dated 10th June 2015. My supervisor is still adamant by saying NOT NECESSARY, unless I am about to study cause-effect or relationship research. Furthermore, this exploratory research is like a case study in nature, hence it doesn’t need Variables. I am sure the panelists will be having heated discussion for the upcoming seminar/presentation but my friends said, just lend them the ears and succumb to their lectures. In the end, supervisor is the one who is going to grade you.
My questionnaire for my research – “Malaysian Moslems’ Perception Towards Cadbury’s Image Repair & Its Halal Image.”
So, at this point at least he said I am in the right track although much to the dismay of coursemates and seniors saying that this could be lethal during presentation but I guess I should follow what supervisor has advised me.
An elongated steel pierced deep. Perhaps I ran into that at highways or a kid thrust that into my tyre? Goodness knows!
I was satisfied that I had fruitful discussion today but at that same time, I was horrified to discover that my hind tyre was punctured – FLAT! That was why when I was approaching the faculty, seemed like I was driving on the rim instead of the tyre! Darn!!! It was so dramatic to detail everything here but it involved :-
- A Good Samaritan in form of an Indian taxi driver at the park helping me out with the punctured tyre;
- The workshop in Taman Sri Serdang was having problem with its malfunctioned Tyres Compressor! Been waiting for 35 minutes but proved to no avail. They said the only way is to have the compressor at the workshop branch in Serdang Lama. By hook or crook, I drove the car there with the guide of the good-natured Chinese mechanic to Serdang Lama with my spare tyre;
- The hole punctured by the elongated steel that pierced the tyre WAS BIG. Although the hole was stuffed with rubber from outside and inside, it wouldn’t last. The choice is to opt for a second-hand tire or to leave my tire and collect the next morning. I need to go home to Serendah tonight! So finally opt for the second-hand tire for the cost of RM45.
- Someone (I suspected a kid in school. Goodness knows!) stole the lid of one of my tyre’s wind valves!
The 2nd workshop in Serdang Lama.
These commotions ruined a session planned by Kakak to accompanying her watching “Love, Supermoon” with Rifqi at 6 p.m. at Alamanda. Nevertheless what really irked me was that when you called someone a friend when you started to panic pleading for help, you were left all alone. Yeah I know the sense of being independent but I can’t help feeling frustrated that all these while, I have been extending my hands helping the person who was in dire need but when I myself is in emergency situation, I was shunned.
Deep one from Ibn Taymiyyah. I am feeling it now. At this very moment as I am typing these alphabets. I can’t depend on you.
Don’t preach me. I know the fact that we shouldn’t be anticipating someone’s help but trying to slither out from the problems ourselves; and after all, even our own shadows leave us when it is dark, no? I know that but I can’t deny that I do feel somber and frustrated and angry. Yes, the good point from this is that I manage to settle this but to realize that you have been deserted without any sense of “wanting to help”; it makes you ponder that – perhaps, whatever kindness you have shown is not worthwhile? It is hard that when you are entrapped in this perspective, you start to perceive the person in another dimension.
Angie writes a lot. I guess Gemini people tend to be expressive? I don’t know. Although as much I feel hurt but this is also a good experience for me. But perhaps my dimension towards the person has shifted? Maybe it is time for me to reevaluate my purpose of life – towards somebody else rather than to be cooped with someone who you can’t rely? Goodness knows.
A dimension that says – “this is not the person who will help you when you are crying for help although when the person cries for help, you without hesitation, stretch your hand out.” I guess we will see how it goes. This is me, siphoning out my day; from Serendah to Serdang (hopefully safely arrives back to Serendah after this!) on 22nd October 2015. You know in the end, you only got “Me, Myself & I.”