2nd February 2016. A day when all the sufferings now gone, leaving all the nostalgia as remnants of memories. Around 10.50 p.m., my beloved cousin, Kak Aida Shaari passed away due to the kidney failure – of which she has been battling for the past 16 years, since I was in Form 4 in 2000.
Her Facebook Picture Profile. When she was healthy. Taken when she was working with Sapura, I guess.
I have always been very close to her and Kak Alia and Mak Ngah Nah eversince the demise of late Pak Ngah in 1996. Whenever I drove back to Jitra from Serendah, I would try make efforts to drop by at Lahar Kepar to visit her and Mak Ngah Nah but lately when I reared cats (I always brought them back with my car), it was hard for me to stop by – and in addition to that, I also further my Master’s Degree this late 2 years – so, I have been busy with my own life schedule.
In 2009. When I was doing the KPLI, the teacher-trainee course in IPDA Jitra. Kak Aida and everyone came to Jitra for Eid-ul-Fitri.
I remember when she was diagnosed with this kidney failure in 2000. I was in Form 4. She had to undergo a few medical treatments at Loh Guan Lye Hospital in Penang Island. Since my family and I resided in Penang, Mak Ngah and Kak Alia stayed with us for about a month or so. After that, she transferred the treatment to Province Wellesley (Seberang Perai) as that would be easier for her to commute from Kepala Batas; rather than to cross the Penang Bridge to the island religiously.
In 2011. During Kak Alia’s engagement ceremony. She was feeling confident with this look. So. she cheekily asked me to snap her picture.
My late cousin Kak Aida is a spirit that we should salute. I guess what really drove her to really fight for her life was her hope. I remember that she was so excited when her name was enlisted among the list of recipients of kidney AND not to mention when she was shortlisted to No.5 of the waiting list! When we knew the news, it was such an exciting thing and I recalled that she couldn’t confine her happiness when I met her and talked about the possibility of her getting a new kidney! Everything was with positive vibe – despite the struggle she had to undergo – doing dialysis 3 times a week; feeling immense lethargy, drove the car alone to the center, etc.
In 2012. During Kak Alia’s wedding ceremony. She looked so radiant here. I always tagged along with her. I am sure going to be missing you, cousin.
But alas! She has undergone every possible procedures needed for the kidney transplant – plucking out rotten teeth, getting dosages of necessary injections, underwent several rigorous stringent medical routines, etc – BUT, it was her lungs that deterred the operation. She was told that her lungs were weak and if she underwent the kidney transplant, it was possible that she would collapse as the pressure was expected to be of greater scale – and it was possible she would be in comatose state forever! This meant – the kidney transplant WOULD NOT BE MATERIALIZED.
In 2013. I always took pictures during our Eid-ul-Fitri gatherings. I think this was when Rifqi, my nephew gave Kak Aida ; or actually it was me who gave it? Can’t remember! – a Raya angpow! I cheekily asked her to pose ala “Ayat-Ayat Cinta” Niqabi. She playfully did this. Haha.
So you could imagine after 12-13 years hoping for a new kidney and suddenly you received this news? Hopes shattered and she was demotivated. I understood the feeling of shattered hopes. Imagine that she has been focusing all her energy and hopes to this and suddenly being told there is no more light at the end of the tunnel! From that day, her spirit crippled. Whenever we met her during Raya gatherings, we would not hesitate to motivate her and Ayah always brought honey for her for alternative supplement and she enjoyed taking the honey.
During Pija’s (a cousin) wedding in 2012. I always tagged along with her.
Last time I saw her was during 2015 Eid-ul-Fitri. She was bony and scrawny. We knew that sometimes, she feigned smiles when actually she was in lethargic state. So when I received call from Ayah last night at 11.15 p.m., part of me was relieved that she finally emancipated herself away from all these pains. I couldn’t stay at my house no more last night. I knew I have to go back. I felt tired to drive to Penang as it was late night. So, I opted for flight, instead. I took morning flight from KLIA 2 to Alor Star Airport and from there, Mak and I went to the funeral. So, tonight I am going back to Selangor also via flight. Thanks to my Headmistress for being considerate of this. I am glad I make this trip. I was able to carry the hearth from Mak Ngah Nah’s house along the way, walking to the Lahar Kepar Mosque. I also joined the Talkin (Prayers For The Dead). I saw her buried, 6 feet under.
During Eid-ul-Fitri in 2014. They came to Jitra. So we took the Wefie together.
Kak Aida had always been my avid silent reader of my Facebook. Whenever we met, she always teased me with all my crazy FB postings and about my cats. She enjoyed baking cakes and excitedly asked me to try. Parts of me feel sad but another parts of me feel relieved that now she is in better hands.
With Abang Anuar, Mak, Kak Hasni, Mak Ngah and Kak Aida (at my side). Dear Kak Aida, you inspire me with your spirit to live. You are a fighter of hopes. And my prayers for you to Jannah. May your soul in the After Life among The Believers, amin.
May ALLAH SWT bless your beautiful soul, my cousin. You will always be remembered, Kak Aida. Inalillah.
You guys must be wondering why I put this song. I remember listening to this song in 2000 when I accompanied Kak Aida, Kak Alia and Mak Ngah Nah to Loh Guan Lye Hospital. The album “Iktiraf” by Noraniza Idris was sentimental for me when it came to nostalgia with Kak Aida because I bought the cassette in 2000. The lyrics tells about faith to God when deals with challenges in life. “Gerimis gugur merenjis insan, Umpama menabur bela kasihan. Apakah gerangan? Adakah gurauan? Ku renung langit menyoal iman.” (The rain drench the men, like a pitiful tears. Why is it? Is that simply a humour? I looked up and question my faith).