nthWell…in the very HOly month of Ramadhan, things are getting a bit topsy turvy…erm, less bicthy and airhead attitued altho u cant deny the temptaion (hahhaa, Efy and Kat; TAKE NOTE!)…well, fer the past few days i was busy …occupied with my assigmnet ; lab reports of DR ICO…Food and Industrial Microbiology..kinda boring but well…no harm’s done kan?just belajar jer la..anyway, 2 days ago i had this so called ‘rift’ with Raghuram..started out with sumthing that was supposed meant as ajoke..but the airhead dude was so PRIDE UP and went on strutting his so-called ‘cool’ snap-back…hey, WHATEVER! It’s like im gonna face him again kan…aint worth my single brain cell..and of coz the writting in the bulletin caused a lil’ bit of uproar..frens have been mesg-ing me asking about this whole hullaballoo…well, frens cum and go..they’ll cum when u dont need ’em but no where to be found when u need ’em…that’s why i rather being a self centred…selfish, that’s all about me..i dunno maybe when i find the right person to change me and make me realize that there are more to live than just being an arrogant self centered bastard! Ahhh…everyone’s changing as time passed by..i must say i change too…sumhow or sumwhere..maybe not much…but i ve becum more tolerating with critics cum up to me and such,etc..i ve also developed this THICK SKIN of just do what i like and dun care wht ppl might thing or say….of coz they are ppl who perceive me as this pathetic lil’ attention seeker…hehee, but hey, i cant deny the fact that im an attention seeker and of coz, being me attention isnt far whenever im around (bicthy isnt it?sounds so girlish rite?hahaha who cares this is my blog! Screw PPL!…..Lately i ve been thinking..it’s been quite a long time since i left PFS…nearly 5 years..Sumhow i still live with the nostalgia and everything..yep, pathetic..but that’s just it..i mean now in university, i do ve great life (at sum point)..but i’m always surrounded my double faced, sweet-talking-in-front-but-kutuk-behind-my-back ppl…bicthes(i like nice bitches, but i hate wannabes and bad bitches)..always when i ve sumthing happned to me like the case of pondan-pondan usm using my pic, kutuk me,etc and i wrote in frenster, ppl dun pay much attention altho sum of my great frens did the otherwise(thnx!)…maybe they think i just wanna show how ‘popular’ i am..well at least Naz once gave his opinion macam tuh…i ve no one really to channel all those dissapoinmnet and anger! Luckily i ve gd frens here (like Kat and Efy!) who dont simply jump into assumption or ridicule me…Other than them..i dunno..i do seek sum conscience from "PPl Around Me"…but the results usually are not satisfactory..either these ppl ridicule me, not taking me seriously ,etc…i know they always think that im trying to seek attention and so on….GOSH…sumtime im sso lost! That’s why when Prof Shahiza, the freaking weird Dr. once said to me : "You Laugh when ppl AROUND u, but u cried when no one with u"…well, tht’s true..whenever im alone..i just feel sooo…lonely and isolated..and i wish i ve never been born in way that im now…i hate when ppl are not taking me seriously..ridiculing me with that fake smile, fake mocking and of coz i hate the fake ‘complimenting’ of "cantik,etc (No need to elaborate on this!)…how i wish life isnt this difficult….i ve no one that i can really relate too now..used to be tamil, zhafry…but that’s history…I do ve great frens in USM …but im lonely…..i can only talk to my mom..the only person that i pour everything…used to be my sister..but she’s getting marry this year….huuhuhhh..im kinda sad and happy fer her too…i feel like im losing sumone and a stranger’s cumin in to my family…..ai, talk about love life..i dunno…after two hopeless entanglement, malas la…let fate sepaks of itself…but of coz..no one actually knows me..im the kinda person who can easily got crush on person but forget them easily too…but in my heart, there’ll laways be a place fer that the only one..no matter how many ppl in years to cum i’ll be bonded i’ll never forget "Dialah Di Hati"…ahaksss…yeap, corny but i say..LOYAL..ima loyal lover…So far this is the longest blog i ve written………..in 5 years time, i hope i would ve a wonderful career and my life would be great…that’s the goal..erm, talk about losing one’s virginity(yep, guy’s also is called virginity) before marriage…i think the idea’s sexy..hahhaa..well, just a fantasy but i dun think im gonna commit it..im the same Shahrill, the good-ol’-next-door boy everyone knows..hehe…yea rite..until then, Selama t berpuasa Ramadan al mubarak dan selamat Raya…May Allah bless me with His Almighty and Merciful Qaramah…May Allah protects me from the evil deeds intended by those unholy souls…Amin….Wassalam
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All posts for the month October, 2005
been Well…it’s quite sumtime since i last write in this bloggish thingy!ahaks…well,lifew seems quite serene masa masuk bulan ramadhan ni..last nite i break my fasting with Naz..quite nice with all those unexpected ordering of the dishes(crabs, mushrooms soup fer breaking fast?Totally NOT accepted!)..anyway, as im typing this blog kat cc atas kedai Shuang Xin aka cc rahsia (ahaha, cortesy of Kat of coz!)..2 caucasians just yapping and yapping like sume peacock cockatoo with the Oh-so-Pride-SAccent!Puh-leeze..i mean, that’s waht really bothe rme anyway, foreigner who come to our country just stride up as if like this is their bloody country..well, Malaysians however are too scare to say anything or…i guess to humble to curse these ‘white demons’..no offense..im not a racist or whatsoever..it’s just that seeing youth caucasian who talk loundly in public as if oike Malaysia is their country just make me piss off! I mean…&&*(^%$!..anyway, i ve nuthinmg to say actuallt coz my life been quite OK…i guess that sum time i do miss special ppl in my life…but then life goes on! I dont wanna cooped up in my nostalgic memory that im so stuck up in my own fantasy! I wanna live my own life..pretty much is cool! I ve got frens, i ve got family (for now la!), i’ve got presence (ahaks..mmg bicthy statement ni)…but of coz i lack sumthing in sumwhere else…either way, tak kesah la..Yang penting tonite, Kat and Efy are goin to join force to scrutinize thoroughly on teh camera -thingy problem!hahaha….Tal;k about the Power of Fighter! and yeah, i did go fer Rabbani concert last week and it was quite enthralling altho there was lack bit ere and there…Ustaz Asri’s voice is stupendously energetic ….but the nite was spoiled by this BIG FAT UGLY b*tch who was being so rude pushing (not literally la..but verbally!) me aside untuk mendapatkan gambar those so called celebrities..well..ntah POyo!bye bye tu jer la kot…